The other day I had done a photo shoot on a model. She was young (22 years of age) and I had known her and her family for quite a long while. She was very happy to do the photo shoot, but afterwards she said that she was sad because she had just broken up with someone very dear to her. She said that she didn’t want to make any more mistakes when it comes to finding the right man for her, but she also admitted that she doesn’t know how to go about picking the right one. I told her that there is “no one foolproof method” for picking the perfect partner, because the perfect partner does “not exist.” We are “all” flawed in God’s eyes and no matter how many precautions you take there are still “no guarantees.” However, it is possible to strengthen your chances when it comes to recognizing the right partner. I might have been wrong, but I told her the very “first” thing she needed to do was “value herself.” As long as you hold yourself in high regard, a man will have “no other choice but to hold you in high regard” as well. In other words, a woman should “never” allow a man to disrespect her and get away with it. Now the definition of “disrespect” can vary for those who are not sure, but the basic fact is that no man should ever be allowed to hit you, threaten you, call you vicious names or try to dominate or control you. He should only have “one time” to pull a stunt like that off and there should be “NO” second chances. ALL real men are interested in sex, but a man who loves you “won’t mind waiting” for it just to prove that you mean more to him. I realize that love is tough for a lot of women because if you withhold intimacy from a man chances are he can go to your neighbor next door and probably get a “free shot.” While that might be true, he will never have “love” for that neighbor… only “infatuation.” If necessary you might need to let him know that he most certainly “can” go to your neighbor for a quick shot if that is what he desires, but once he does he can never come back to see you. A lot of women will try to hold on to a man by doing things like “going through his pockets” or “monitoring his activity” all the time. I am a firm believer in the “gate theory.” The gate theory is a story about a little child in a back yard. You may not want that child to leave the back yard, but if you lock the gate and tell the child not to leave out that gate, then the child will “naturally become curious as to what is outside that gate.” In order to find out, that child may test you by trying to climb over that gate or try to pry it open just to see. However, if you leave that gate open and tell that child that once you leave through that gate bad things will happen then that child will develop the wherewithal to “check himself.” He will realize that he can leave that gate at any time, but once he takes that risk he may lose everything. A lot of men are the same way. Trying to control them is unnecessary, because if they want to cheat then they will just find a way to do it. However, letting that man know that the “gate is open” for them to go elsewhere (but yet once he leaves through that gate the doors will close behind him and he will never get back in) can have a different psychological effect and possibly an even greater impact on that man’s “way of thinking.” As I said, “NO” way is foolproof, but most of the men I have talked to have said that this method made a big difference to them. Each person is different, and what works for some may not necessarily work for everyone. I wished this girl luck and she thanked me for the fatherly advice. She said it made a lot of sense to her. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always, I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Brother Bill Jolly, Jon Bon Jovi, and Brett Jolly