I got into a small debate with my barber the other day (yes, I still go to one) over the pros and cons of “sex buddies” versus “lovers.” He thought that most couples would be better off just being “sex buddies” instead of forming a relationship of some kind. According to him, it would mean less fights and less responsibilities to be accountable for. While some people do the “sex buddy” thing it doesn’t mean that you are getting all you need. Some people will actually confuse the two, but there “are” differences. First, sex buddies are “only” about sex, and nothing else. They don’t get their feelings involved at all, they don’t need to know about how each other’s day went, and they don’t want to know anything from their partner other than “where and when.” Being just sex buddies can often seem very cold. Real lovers will actually take sex to a much greater level, because with true lovers sex is only the “icing on the cake.” Lovers can watch television together, go for walks and discuss things that are happening in their daily routines. Love can last forever. Sex can fizzle out as your stamina goes. Love utilizes your body, heart, soul and mind. Sex utilizes your private body parts and a strong desire. Which ones do people prefer the most? Sex is easier to accomplish, but once it is done there is nothing left. Lovers talk, lovers relate and lovers care. Lovers are actually friends who take the time to know each other. Sex buddies take the time to know your body. Of course, being lovers can open you up to more hurt if something goes wrong in a relationship, but part of the joy from being in love is finding a way to work through those problems together. Each person is different, and some people are not equipped well enough to love someone. If you really love someone that you would like to have a relationship with, then it might be beneficial to find out if that person loves you back. One of the worst scenarios you can encounter is to love someone who only values you as a “sex buddy.” The key to all of this is to make sure you love yourself well enough before you begin to love someone else. If you love yourself enough, then you won’t allow someone you have strong feelings for to only think of you as a sex buddy. Oh, and for the record, if you “truly” love each other then sex would not matter (yes, I said that). Someone who truly loves you won’t mind spending an intimate moment with you just for the reason of “being with you.” THAT… is what love is all about… and when you finally do get to the point where you are having sex… then that should be your “icing on the cake.” Which one works for you? That depends on how much YOU love and value yourself… If you feel you are worth being loved, then by all means never settle for less… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and I wish you the absolute best that life has to offer today.
Teddy Pendergrass and Brett Jolly in concert