Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: The importance of understanding your lover’s profession)

How important is it to understand your lover’s profession? If a man is married to a woman lawyer then he needs to understand that she “has” to take a lot of personal time to study aspects of her cases (and that may take away from personal time that he would like to have with her). An impatient man in this situation could actually bring more stress to the relationship if he doesn’t properly understand her workload. A woman married to a professional athlete needs to understand that her man will be approached by “women of all sorts” during the bulk of his career, and most of them won’t care whether he is single or  not. If you don’t have some degree of faith or security in your relationship it will only add to  your stress levels and probably break down the solidarity of what you have established between you. Just because your  man has the opportunity to cheat doesn’t necessarily mean that he “is.”  EVERY profession has some degree of difficulty to it that people need to understand. Sanitation workers often deal with the degradation of a job that involves garbage and trash constantly. Even if it is a well paid profession the fact is that the effects of it could lead to depression and even mental damage. If you are involved with anyone in that profession then it would be beneficial to understand the job when trying to understand your mate. The same can be said for policemen and firefighters  who put their lives on the line every day. Problems often occur when we attribute our own values to the responsibilities of your lover. In other words, you can’t assume that when your lover has a job to do that he or she will always be available to answer every phone call you make every time you want to make it. You can’t assume that every time he or she is late to contact you that there is something diabolical going on in  your relationship either. Sometimes in order to have trust in your lover you need to first have trust in yourself. If you feel secure about yourself then there should be no need to worry about the intervention of others. If you and your mate “already know” that he has the best lover possible in you then you both should feel secure enough to know that no one else who comes along can be better than you are. Insecurity often comes from “not feeling sufficient enough” for your partner, thereby constantly thinking that he is looking for someone better than you. A confident lover already knows that there “is” no one better than you. When you start to think negatively this logic can be destructive in several ways: For one, instead of looking to build yourself up, you are trying to make your partner love you more from a “control” aspect. This means that you are constantly needing to know every detail of what your lover is doing so you can monitor all of his or her activities. The biggest problem with this is that  your lover can automatically “sense” your insecurities from your actions and that can eventually lead to doubt in his or her mind as well. In other words, how can you expect someone to love  you if you don’t first love yourself? Also, if you bring a lot of negative thinking and elements to  your relationship then you can actually “cause” negative things to happen. For instance, if you have a man who you constantly think is cheating (even  though he has never cheated on you before) then through your own actions you may actually “cause’ him to say at some point, “Hey, she is going to accuse me of cheating anyway, so why not do so?” As “backwards” as this logic is, it has already occurred in  “so” many relationships. A good relationship starts with the “faith” that the both of you are the best suited for each other. You never let “third parties” try to tell you about your lover when they don’t even know him or her as well as you do. Trust starts from trusting and believing in  yourself, and if you don’t have the confidence yet then by all means  make the “changes needed to instill confidence” in yourself. Your lover doesn’t need your control, but your love, faith and trust could take your relationship a lot further. Understand the aspects of your lovers profession and try not to make accusations that are unfounded, unproven and often just flat out “wrong.” Once your lover senses that you are feeling better and more secure about yourself then he or she will spend less time wondering about what you are thinking and more time wondering about when  the both of you can get together again. Thank you for reading my Daily Thought and I wish the very best that life has to offer you today.


Skype: Brettjolly1

Legendary singer Dionne Warwick with Brett Jolly in background in concert