Being a musician, I quite often find it amusing when the band encounters a “sub par” singer, only to have that singer “blame it on the band” whenever his or her voice goes off pitch. Don’t get me wrong, I can “fully” understand it if the band plays too loud or if the band is actually playing the song “wrong.” I remember one time when a lady sang a Billie Holiday tune, and we played it for her onstage. She did well up until the middle of the song, and then she began struggling with her notes and going “off key,” so she then “stopped” the song and said in the microphone that the band “changed her key.” Well, normally bands don’t change keys in the “middle” of the song unless the song actually “calls for it” or the singer “requests” it. This woman talked into the microphone and blamed us directly for the notes she couldn’t hit vocally. I then told her to start off in her “own” key and we would just “catch” her. Lo and behold, she started the song off again… in the “very same exact key” that she originally did it in. I smiled at the guys onstage and put my finger up to my mouth as though to tell them “Don’t let her know that we are playing it in the same key.” She started the song off this time and said “That’s better.” She got a little further in the song this time before her vocals began to sound “jacked up” again. She then said something else detrimental about the band into the microphone and blamed us again for getting her song wrong. After yet one “more” attempt of “trial and error” she began to get frustrated and left the stage to go sit down. I think she got more applause for that moment than when she sang. When I had a break I told her that “each and every” time she tried to sing the song on her own she went back to her same original key. She was shocked to hear that, and then apologized to me for faulting us. If you like live music enough, then chances are you will at some point encounter a “vocally challenged singer.” In church they will be the ones who sing while making all these hard facial expressions with that big vein popping out the neck while singing. You will always recognize the final note when the congregation claps “real lightly” while their eyes go from side to side barely looking at each other saying softly “Amen.” Bad singers cannot tell that they are horrible, so they continue to get even more into the song while each note gets even worse. I have a nickname title for truly bad singers. I refer to them as the “LAW.” In case you are wondering what that stands for, it is “LOUD…. And WRONG!” I will often let bad singers know that they are not really that bad. Instead I just let them know that I think people are just “listening to them wrong.” Society needs bad singers, because bad singers do bring entertainment. They give us something humerus to talk about on the drive home. If you are a bad singer, never worry about it. Just don’t get up onstage (smile). I apologize if I offended anyone today, but I would like to say this for bad singers. There are a lot more of them out there than you think. Enjoy your day, and hope that it is a great one.