Dear Mr. Jolly, I have a mother who is 78 years old and she has been a widow for over 10 years. Well, now this 80 year old man has been keeping her company and I think he likes her a lot. In fact, I think they would like to be boyfriend and girlfriend. My mom says that she loves his company, but what can a couple at that age really do? Isn’t she too old to have a boyfriend at this stage of her life? What about him? Is he trying to take advantage of her? I don’t see any sense in these two being together, but my mother says she is grown and can make her own decisions. What can I do about this situation?
You can start by wishing them luck… Obviously the one fact that is true is that your mother is grown, and unless you can prove that she is NOT of sound mind then she should be capable of making her own decisions. Who are we to tell people of “any” age that they cannot seek companionship? I used to work in a senior residential complex and quite a few of them were romantic couples. Now, I have NO idea what they were capable of doing behind closed doors, but often I would see them sitting together in the lobby, and they would stay there for a long time. Everyone should have the right to be happy, and if this man makes your mother happy then what is the problem? If you think he is trying to take advantage of her then I can understand that, but unless he is after her money I don’t see what else could go wrong. Somehow or other I DON’T think that at this age you have to worry about her getting pregnant. Since he is 80 and she is 78 I don’t believe you have to worry much about physical abuse either (because at this stage she just might be able to beat him). Unless you have some proof to the contrary, allow your mother to live the rest of her life happy with companionship. As to what they could possibly do together, I am willing to wager that the answer to that question is “not much.” Be happy for your mom and if necessary, get to know the gentleman who is courting her. You might be surprised as to how nice he can really be. Thank you for submitting your topic and I hope you have a great day.
Patti Labelle and Brett Jolly in concert