Mr. Jolly, I have a friend who only likes for me to talk about her. I only see her when things are going great for her, or when she needs me to do a favor for her. On several occasions she needed rides from me and during those times she always acts nice. However, when I have good things going for me she often says that she has to take another call, then says she will call back but never does. She never cares to ask about my family and she is only concerned with finding some guy to have sex with so he can spend money on her. When I told her that she does have other options she just doesn’t want to hear it. She never has a long relationship with any man and her only concern is to get money from them. What do you think of my friend, and how should I handle her?
The very first issue is defining what a friend “really” is. If this woman only wants you to do “for her” then your friendship is clearly “one sided.” She not only doesn’t care for you, but she also doesn’t care for herself either. When your only answer to making a living is to have sex with some man then that means that you don’t even value yourself. If what you are saying is true, she is using men, and she is using you as well. I wish I could find something positive in your relationship with her, but the truth is she has “never” been your friend. Friends will do for each other. Friends will care about each other, and friends will stick with you through the good and bad. You can continue to consider this woman to be your friend, but the truth is that she doesn’t have enough love in her heart to be anyone’s friend. Sometimes when you befriend a person like that it might soften the heart, but in this instance I just don’t think she has it in her. Sometimes it is best to see people “as they are” rather than try to view them as what you “want them to be.” Since you already know that she is only going to call you when she wants something from you, then you also know that there is no need to answer when she does. Cut the ties here and move on to more warm blooded people. You can find new friends who will be better than that. In fact, there are some enemies who will act better than that. If she won’t value you, then by all means value yourself and leave her alone. Take care and have a great day.
The Delfonics and Brett Jolly in concert