Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Ex boyfriend stalker”)

Mr. Jolly, I really like to read your Daily Thought. You promote a lot of great topis and events. I have a problem that I would like your opinion on. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend because he was too controlling. Now he has become my stalker. Even though I blocked him on my Facebook page he is using other accounts to spy on me. He shows up to events that I am at even though I never told him that I was going to be there. He sends letters to my home and my friends keep telling me that he is trying to disguise himself to become their friends on Facebook so he can find out some of the things that I am doing. When I ended our relationship I told him that he was too possessive and controlling, but now he is still trying to keep tabs on my life. He has gotten physical with me before. I told him to stay away from me, but he keeps showing up. How should I view him and what should I do about him? I appreciate any information you can give. Thank you.

I think you should take his actions “very” seriously and contact your “local authorities.” Technically he has not broken any law “yet” but it may only be a matter of time before he does so. The best time to address his actions is “now” BEFORE  he does something drastic. People who are possessive have “major” problems accepting “rejection.” The fact that you broke up with him may be too much for him to take. Someone needs to step to him now and this is where the police can step in. You can get a restraining order against him (even though if he is as possessive as you say he is, this might make him even madder). However, if he is stalking you then chances are he is “already mad enough so you really wouldn’t have much to lose.” If a policeman goes to see him, then at least he will know that you “mean business.” Save the letters he has sent you, because you may need to use them later on as “evidence.” You may also need your friends as witnesses for some of the things he has been trying to pull.  Right now he is only doing this because he “feels” he can get away with it. He needs to know that he “can not.” If he got physical with you “one time” then that is already “one time too many.” Don’t think that if you ignore him that he will just “go away.” As long as “he knows” that the authorities are “on to him” then he will have no choice but to be cautious with his actions from this point on. If you get a restraining order and he breaks it, then you can have him thrown in jail immediately. Also, you should carry something for protection anyway (because there are a lot of stupid fools out here). My friend who is a police officer told me that pepper spray is “great” for women to use. Just make sure you spray in his direction and don’t let any of it get into your own eyes. When it comes to Facebook, you may want to use caution with some of the things you post. There are people who will govern your very life just “based on your Facebook posts alone.” They will even use the time of your posts to help pinpoint your activities, so you need to keep that in mind. Above all, never “just leave” outside your door. Always look out to see if there is “anything suspicious” around your neighborhood or any other place you go. Most women should do this anyway before venturing out. Good luck to you, and please keep us updated on the results. Thank you and have a great day.

Ashford and Simpson and Brett Jolly in concert