Mr. Jolly. I am writing this because someone owes me money. She borrowed it from me over a month ago and she said that she would pay me back within a couple of days. Well, now she keeps telling me that she is going to mail the money to me and sends me texts all the time giving various excuses, but still nothing comes in the mail. I told her that I would come pick it up from her. She lives close by but she insists that she will mail it. I don’t want to become an ogre but I want my money. She is not a bad person. Can you tell me how I should handle this without making it seem like I am terrorizing her?
I think just about “everyone” knows someone who is just plain “awful” with money. These people have the best of intentions but they lack the ability to handle finances correctly, which is probably why she needed the money from you in the first place. People like this are not mean spirited, but they are just unable to budget anything. They tend to spend money on things they “want” first and after the money has dwindled “THEN” they realize it’s time to pay for the necessities they “need.” There have actually been studies done on these type of people. Some spend out of habit. Some spend to help with depression. This lady here has inconvenienced you, and in a nice way you need to let her know that. You don’t want to come across angry or threatening with her, but you should at least let her know how disappointed you are in her. Chances are she “mishandled” your money and is now in hot water with someone else she owes money to. That should not be your problem at all, but until she can get her game together it will continue to affect you. Let this also be a learned lesson for you. When people want to borrow money, there is usually a reason behind it. If you know the circumstances, then you can better determine whether or not you want to take the risk of “lending it.” When she tells you that she wants to mail the money to you, that is her way of saying that she needs more time to get it. If she lives close by, then why not let you just come get it? The answer is “because she DOESN’T HAVE it… If you want your money, you will need to continue to ask for it. People like her will think that if you stop asking for it then you probably no longer need it anymore. Make sure to let her know that this is NOT the case. Once you finally get your money (IF you get it) then never loan anything to her again. I hate to say that, but if you do so next time and you don’t get paid then it will be YOUR fault (because you already know she is bad with money). I hope everything works out and I wish you luck. Have a great day.
singer Stephanie Mills and Brett Jolly