Someone raised the question the other day about how long a woman should wait before having sex with a man. A small group of people were discussing this and it was intriguing just how varied the responses were. One woman said that a woman should wait until she is “married” before having intercourse with any man. Another person said that a woman should know her man for at least 6 months before taking it to the next stage. One man responded by saying “one night” ( I kind of figured his response would be this way). Years ago I knew of a woman who was “saving herself” for marriage. She felt it was the right thing to do and she believed in it wholeheartedly. Well, now she is actually “married,” so I asked her if she could do it it all over again then would she live her life the same way. She responded with an “emphatic NO.” She said that it probably would have felt natural if her husband had only saved himself for her as well, but it was tough for her to find a “male virgin that was suitable.” She said that when she first had intercourse it did not feel like something she should have waited her entire life for. I told her that if she was doing it for “religious reasons” then she should NOT feel as though her efforts were in vane. She said that she wished she could have “turned back the hands of time” and gotten a little more “buck wild.” I laughed when I heard her say this, but I understood. I am sure that many different people will have many different responses to this issue. My take on it may be a little different as well. I do not believe that a woman should determine this based on “quantitative” measures at all. When a woman decides to get “deeply” intimate with a man, it should be based on “qualitative” measures instead. In other words, she should consider it after she feels she “knows” the man well enough, she “trusts” the man well enough, and most important, when she “trusts HERSELF” well enough. Men can lie and men can mislead, but they should never be able to change the woman that you are… It is perfectly natural to love someone, but when you give yourself up to that someone then it is important to make sure that the love is “reciprocated.” If he doesn’t love you back, then he should not be deserving of your love. Also, I think it is important to “never” equate “sex” with “love.” I believe they are two “entirely” different entities. Anyone can have sex, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she is in “love” with the sexual partner. We all have needs, but we all have brains too. When you love from your heart, make “sure” to think with your brain first. Not everything that “feels” good IS good… If you follow your religion when it comes to how you guide your life, then the best person to consult about this would be your pastor. Anyone can put a “time element” on when you should have sex, but the simple formula should be “If you are not ready, then DON’T do it.” Of course, I am not just talking about just being ready “physically.” Get to know yourself intimately before being intimate with someone else. That way if you can develop a great trust for yourself, then hopefully down the road that will transform into an even greater trust for him… Please welcome the Phantom Poet to add to this misery:
If you feel as though you are ready to get “buck wild”
Then you can consider yourself to be one sexually needy child
So when deciding to have sex, just how long should you have to wait?
To satisfy your needs, you can always sit at home and just master “the TV channel”
Sometimes in a new relationship it is important to build up your defenses
Because if you give in too early to sex, you may have consequences
There are social diseases that you can pick up and there is another danger of sort
And that danger comes up later on when you have to take his butt to child support
Because in the initial stages of a relationship, everything will seem just fine
And remember, the cost of a decent condom should only be around $3.99
So it is important to be cautious and engage sexually in a safer state
Because as long as you have five fingers, then you’ll ALWAYS have a date
Because men will pressure you continually until you give into their demands
Just send them back home to take their “own” world into their “own” hands
Because when you have sex you take risks and this is the true reality
Don’t base the need on quantity, but rather opt for “quality”
If you are going to engage intimately with men, make sure you know ’em.
And THAT is the reason why I decided to write this poem
So if you feel the urge and are sitting home all alone
Don’t feel bad at all, because the love you save just might be “your own”….
“Man, how does he do it? Applause, please, for the Phantom Poet”