Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Walking”)

Recently I had a talk with a friend of mine who was feeling really stressed out. He was having problems in his relationship and every time he came home he wanted to leave right back out again. He worked hard for a living but his woman was having a problem that was affecting their relationship. He was tired of having arguments with her and he was reaching his “emotional peak.” He said he wanted to relax but he just couldn’t do it at home. Every time he entered the house a new argument ensued. He felt as though he was at his boiling point and wanted to know what he should do about it. I simply told him to “Take a walk.” Taking a walk will NOT solve his problems at home and it will NOT change his woman’s outlook on their relationship. However, taking a walk will help you to “let off steam” and “re-focus.” You see, when things are going bad, sometimes people are “too close to the screen” in order to “see the overall picture.” Walking will give you a “momentary break” to contemplate and re-evaluate your situation.  While it is great for the body, walking also helps to clear the mind. When walking, you can play your scenario over in your head and try to view it through a “better” perspective.  Whenever I feel the “slightest” bit of tension I immediately opt to stroll around the block (or through the neighborhood). My problems NEVER go away after walking, but my disposition often changes so that I can better handle them. Some people feel that walking does NOTHING for you, and for them that might be right. If you already refuse to believe in something then the activity is “tainted” from the start. EVERYONE should have some form of “outlet.” If you don’t want to walk, then do something else that allows you to “let out frustration.” When frustration gets “pent up” inside then at “some point” it will come out on it’s own, and chances are it may cause actions that could be “regrettable.” There is nothing wrong with “letting off steam” somewhere, and for many people, walking is the best answer. My friend said that he will do it, and I sincerely hope that he does. We ALL need a fresh perspective on things, and if walking helps, then by all means “keep on trucking.” Hope your day is without stress and please welcome a side distraction from the Phantom Poet:

When you are having problems that can’t be solved when you talk
Just “take a break” from reality, and find time to take a walk
It won’t solve your problems and it won’t even make them diminished
Until you feel better in mind and spirit, keep walking until you are finished
You can take a stroll to deal with all these issues you are knowing
And if you still feel frustrated, then by all means keep going
You can re-evaluate  your situation and how your story relates
“Oh my goodness. I walked so far I think I just covered three states”
Walking was great for me, but I got so involved that my thinking went off track
I walked so far that now I can’t even figure out the way for me to get back
I guess I will just find a hotel room to help me forget about this day
Hey, it wasn’t like I wanted to go back home to her anyway
My woman and I kept on fighting so some time apart was in store
But I just found out that my woman walked too, and now has the room next door
Now SHE and I BOTH feel better after walking, and we no longer need to fight
So we made up with each other and stayed in the same room for the night
So we found out just what we needed to help fix our domestic situation
We found that we both needed to walk, AND we BOTH needed a vacation
So the moral of this story is that before your relationship becomes badly “defective”
Take a walk, let off some steam and come back with a “new perspective”

” Hey baby….My hotel room or yours?” The Phantom Poet

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The late legendary singer Gerald Levert and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (How to handle boys that want to date your daughters)

Had an interesting topic on Facebook the other day. My daughter had posted a picture of someone wearing one of those “promotional” t-shirts that had a caption on it. This particular shirt was titled “Rules for dating my daughter” and of course, it featured some funny tidbits like “get a job” and “I hate you” and “I will hurt you.”  My daughter than asked me and her mother “What size shirt do you want?” One young man decided to chime in and respond to it by saying that he doesn’t appreciate fathers who try to intimidate dates. He said that it will never work against him and he implied that he would have no problems at all standing up to the parent if this situation should ever arise. His exact words were “Let them try.” He also said that if the parents had “properly trained” their daughter well enough then she would know not to bring home someone who is disrespectful. Now, normally I leave certain comments alone on Facebook. I realize that everyone has a right  to say whatever he or she wants and most times it is not worth the effort to engage someone, however, in this instance I felt as though his comments were a direct reflection on me. I responded by letting him know that no human being is perfect, so everyone is prone to make mistakes. A young man could be VERY courteous and respectful during the beginning and his “inner demon” could easily surface later on in the relationship. Ted Bundy was a perfect gentlemen to ALL the women he dated until he killed them all. No amount of training can make anyone “perfect” enough to be able to determine the actions of others. I also had to let him know that I was a very proud parent of my kids, and if “ANYONE” abuses or disrespects them, then it will NOT be their “fear nor intimidation” that I seek… It will be their “complete and utter annihilation.” Proper training should not just be on the parents of the girl, but rather on the boy as well. I also let him know that even though I liked the shirt it was NOT reflective of me. I have no desire to intimidate any young man who wants to see my daughter and I only saw the message on the shirt as a moment of levity for me. The young man responded that he just had a problem with the message on the t-shirt because it automatically assumed that all young men are disrespectful when it comes to dating the daughters of parents. I told him that there are a LOT of t-shirts with “tainted messages posted” that promote messages of that nature. Manufacturers have the right to promote any message they want, but that doesn’t mean that their messages have to have an effect on us. If you “do right” then you “are right.” The best way to get respect is to just “be respectful.” One day he may become a parent to a girl and then be faced with the same issues. When that day arrives I hope he has the fortitude to realize that ANY proud parent is going to be there for his or her child. For me, that will ALWAYS be the case until the day I leave this realm. Needless to say, the conversation ended with him posting a “like” on my final comment. Hey, during my years I had to meet many parents of girls I wanted to date, and I was respectful to them ALL (and the date as well). If you are mentally prepared for confrontation, then that is when confrontation usually happens.  I already know that there is “no way in Hell” this young boy will ever date my daughter. She didn’t like his message to start with, but hopefully I planted something in his mind to help him with any “other” date he may have. We ALL can learn from our experiences, and isn’t that what life should be about? I hope you don’t mind me posting this today, and please have a great one. Come on in, Phantom Poet:

When it comes to your children dating, it is proper to give consideration
Even though some young men have issues with intimidation
They come in with the perspective that they are prepared to fight
When all they need to really do is just respect and “act right”
So that you don’t end up getting yourself into a whole lot of hot water
Remember to treat your date the way you would if she were your own daughter
Because some young boys don’t want to be perceived as passive or weak
But if you mess up with my daughter, it won’t be your “fear” that I seek
No, for me there is a whole new perspective to this equation
Because I will seek nothing less than your “complete and utter annihilation”
If you abuse or disrespect her, then there is no longer a reason to debate
I may be older, but that means my aim for “shooting” is GREAT!
Men should ALWAYS be respectful to a lady whenever a date calls
And those men who abuse or disrespect should be hung by their “ballistics”
And for the parents, we only want to alleviate any worry or doubt
As long as you act right, then there should be nothing to worry about
So in closing this poem, there is one last little message that I “got”
“Do unto others as you would have them to unto you… or get SHOT!”

“Said lovingly by the Phantom Poet”

 

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If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com. You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Too early for marriage talk?)

Mr. Jolly, I recently met this man a few weeks ago, and while he  seems nice he keeps telling me that he is looking for a wife. While there is nothing wrong with feeling that way I think it is way too soon to even think about marriage. He keeps telling me this as though he is guaranteed to marry me. I still don’t know him that well yet. I have never met his family, been to his place of employment or even seen where he lives yet. Should I be concerned over his repeated statements?

I honesty think you should. I would think that any man who talks about marriage so early in a relationship is only doing so to “entice you.” It is quite possible that he is only telling you “what he thinks you want to hear.” How can anyone even “consider” marrying someone they hardly know? In fact, this is a question that you might want to consider “asking him.” While marriage is a great institution, the fact is that the focus should “not” be on “getting married” but rather on getting married “to the one you love.” If he says he is intent on getting married to “just about anyone” then he should NOT be the one for you. If he says he is intent on marrying you without first getting to know you then that is also alarming. I would “strongly” suggest that you get to know “HIM” WELL before proceeding to ANY kind of “next level” with  him. It is possible that his whole situation could be a ruse. In the meantime, you may not want to take this guy “seriously” until he steps up his game (and I do mean “game”). Let him say whatever he wants. It is what he “does” that will tell the “true” story. Good luck to you, and please welcome this great tribute from the Phantom Poet:

This man keeps telling me that there is an empty space in his life
He keeps reiterating to me that he wants to find a wife
He keeps repeating this message as if he wants to show me
But the truth of the matter is that he really doesn’t know me
I am starting to wonder just what kind of drugs he must be on
Because he doesn’t know that I know his wife from the hair salon
She already told me that their marriage is not on the skids
In fact, at this juncture they actually have two and a half kids
She told me that her and her husband are happy in their situation
I then let her know that I secretly “videotaped” his and my conversation
She said that she thought he was cheating but she just wasn’t sure “how”
She then told me that he REALLY will be “looking for a wife” now
She invited him home to meet “this new friend I found”
After he saw that it was “me” she started “slapping him around”
She hit him so hard that at one point the whole house shook
I never realized that this little woman could have such a devastating “right hook”
He tried to tell her that he didn’t cheat yet, and she screamed out “You’re lying”
She then told him that she was whipping him down because he was “trying”
He was trying his best to explain and say a whole lot more
But if is difficult to say much when you’re unconscious on the floor
She thanked me for letting her know, and then I was on my merry way
And I felt good knowing that I put a cheater in his place, on this great day…

“One down, many more to go”… The Phantom Poet

 

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Verdine White, bassist for Earth, Wind and Fire, and Brett Jolly

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