Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (How to handle boys that want to date your daughters)

Had an interesting topic on Facebook the other day. My daughter had posted a picture of someone wearing one of those “promotional” t-shirts that had a caption on it. This particular shirt was titled “Rules for dating my daughter” and of course, it featured some funny tidbits like “get a job” and “I hate you” and “I will hurt you.”  My daughter than asked me and her mother “What size shirt do you want?” One young man decided to chime in and respond to it by saying that he doesn’t appreciate fathers who try to intimidate dates. He said that it will never work against him and he implied that he would have no problems at all standing up to the parent if this situation should ever arise. His exact words were “Let them try.” He also said that if the parents had “properly trained” their daughter well enough then she would know not to bring home someone who is disrespectful. Now, normally I leave certain comments alone on Facebook. I realize that everyone has a right  to say whatever he or she wants and most times it is not worth the effort to engage someone, however, in this instance I felt as though his comments were a direct reflection on me. I responded by letting him know that no human being is perfect, so everyone is prone to make mistakes. A young man could be VERY courteous and respectful during the beginning and his “inner demon” could easily surface later on in the relationship. Ted Bundy was a perfect gentlemen to ALL the women he dated until he killed them all. No amount of training can make anyone “perfect” enough to be able to determine the actions of others. I also had to let him know that I was a very proud parent of my kids, and if “ANYONE” abuses or disrespects them, then it will NOT be their “fear nor intimidation” that I seek… It will be their “complete and utter annihilation.” Proper training should not just be on the parents of the girl, but rather on the boy as well. I also let him know that even though I liked the shirt it was NOT reflective of me. I have no desire to intimidate any young man who wants to see my daughter and I only saw the message on the shirt as a moment of levity for me. The young man responded that he just had a problem with the message on the t-shirt because it automatically assumed that all young men are disrespectful when it comes to dating the daughters of parents. I told him that there are a LOT of t-shirts with “tainted messages posted” that promote messages of that nature. Manufacturers have the right to promote any message they want, but that doesn’t mean that their messages have to have an effect on us. If you “do right” then you “are right.” The best way to get respect is to just “be respectful.” One day he may become a parent to a girl and then be faced with the same issues. When that day arrives I hope he has the fortitude to realize that ANY proud parent is going to be there for his or her child. For me, that will ALWAYS be the case until the day I leave this realm. Needless to say, the conversation ended with him posting a “like” on my final comment. Hey, during my years I had to meet many parents of girls I wanted to date, and I was respectful to them ALL (and the date as well). If you are mentally prepared for confrontation, then that is when confrontation usually happens.  I already know that there is “no way in Hell” this young boy will ever date my daughter. She didn’t like his message to start with, but hopefully I planted something in his mind to help him with any “other” date he may have. We ALL can learn from our experiences, and isn’t that what life should be about? I hope you don’t mind me posting this today, and please have a great one. Come on in, Phantom Poet:

When it comes to your children dating, it is proper to give consideration
Even though some young men have issues with intimidation
They come in with the perspective that they are prepared to fight
When all they need to really do is just respect and “act right”
So that you don’t end up getting yourself into a whole lot of hot water
Remember to treat your date the way you would if she were your own daughter
Because some young boys don’t want to be perceived as passive or weak
But if you mess up with my daughter, it won’t be your “fear” that I seek
No, for me there is a whole new perspective to this equation
Because I will seek nothing less than your “complete and utter annihilation”
If you abuse or disrespect her, then there is no longer a reason to debate
I may be older, but that means my aim for “shooting” is GREAT!
Men should ALWAYS be respectful to a lady whenever a date calls
And those men who abuse or disrespect should be hung by their “ballistics”
And for the parents, we only want to alleviate any worry or doubt
As long as you act right, then there should be nothing to worry about
So in closing this poem, there is one last little message that I “got”
“Do unto others as you would have them to unto you… or get SHOT!”

“Said lovingly by the Phantom Poet”

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.


Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage