Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Should you continue to hate your ex?)

I was talking to someone the other day who was having issues with an “ex.” Due to the fact that they had kids together they both had to stay in contact (in one form or another), but it was obvious that “resentment” was still there. When you have a relationship (or marriage) that goes sour, should you continue to harbor animosity towards your ex after the both of you have moved on? Granted, each relationship is different, and may times the “severity” of the different circumstances can have lasting effects on how  you feel. No one can change the past, but you do have the power to make sure that the past doesn’t change you… One thing I have learned is that if you allow “hatred to define” you then you will never be able to get past the pains of a bad relationship. Naturally, if you were abused in any way it makes things tougher for you to forgive. No one wants to be wronged like that. It is also possible that the person you were with “deserves” your anger for what he or she did to you. I am just saying that once you “let go” of a relationship then you might want to consider “forgiving” your ex in order to begin “feeling TOTALLY free.” Otherwise, the more you  continue to reflect on the hatred of the past the more you are allowing that expired relationship to abuse you “mentally.” NO ONE deserves to have that type of power over you. While your “ex” may still display hatred and animosity towards you, that doesn’t mean that you have to stoop down to “his or her” levels. You need to realize that  you are now “better off” without this individual and through the process of separation your life has become “much” better. For that, your “ex” actually did you a “favor.” There are greater things in life waiting in store for you, and you don’t need to be “held down” by the weight of “excess relationship baggage.” The next time your “ex” sees you, he needs to see the “new and improved” you that came with a “new life attitude.” If your ex notices that you no longer care to exhibit anger towards him or her, then I guarantee that it will make a difference in your views on each other.  The best way to move on in life is to “forgive and forget.” Of course, this is always “easier said than done.” Only you can make that difference. Once your ex sees the “difference” in the “new” you then he or she may change her attitude as well. Life goes on, but “ONLY” if you “let it.” A new chapter in life does not have to feature the “previous cast of characters.” Turn the page in  your life and be prepared to “wipe the slate clean.” Please welcome the Phantom Poet to put his “own” spin on this tale:

When it comes to your ex there is no longer a need to get upset
That’s because in order to feel free, you should forgive and forget
We all realize that what was done to you was really bad and wrong
But it doesn’t help to to harbor animosity in your life this long
NOW is the time to take control of your life and even take a dare
You can make a change, diet, change your dress or even your hair
You can now display “change” and show your ex what you are now about
And make sure that your ex knows that now you are “better without”
Let him or her know that you are no longer the wimp they once had
And that through your new lease on life you are no longer even mad
And be prepared in your new life to forget him or forget her
Because once this person left, he or she made your life “better”
So now you are “free” and this is a moment that you need to savor
Because since the the relationship is gone, your ex did you a favor
And when your ex sees the “improved” you and craves to know more
Let him or her get one last look at you, as you walk “forever’ out that door.

“Man, I wish I could have THAT back” The Phantom Poet

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Stevie Wonder and Brett Jolly

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