Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How to break up with someone)

This relationship of ours is so over. I have had enough of this man and I am so ready to pull the plug on this tragedy. He still wants to try to work things out but I am tired of the same things happening over and over. I have told my friends that I am going to dump him, but they keep saying that I should give him another chance. What they don’t know is that I have already given him many chances and now I have reached my limit. It is time to part ways, but how should I break this to him?

James Ingram (a man I once played for) had a prophetic song out a while back entitled “There’s no easy way to break a woman’s heart.” Well, the same concept applies to men as well. Breakups are the “relationship equivalent” to an employer telling you “You’re fired.” Psychologically, the effects of it can have a “major” impact. If  your relationship was one that was filled with anger and resentment then I would strongly suggest that your “breakup” be “anything but.” Sometimes when we experience hurt from a lover we have a tendency to want to “dish” it back out when breaking up. In  fact,  your lover will probably be “expecting” anger from you, especially if that anger has already defined your relationship. As people grow, people change, and the person you started out with may not be the person that you have now. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they have turned evil, but they may have just become “different.” If you view it that way then maybe that will help you when trying to find the proper way to break up. When you verbally attack someone, it is difficult to take those words back once you “let them go.” Your lover will probably be hurt no matter “how” you break up with him, but if you do it in a way that is “not filled” with frustration or anger it might make the difference in both of your lives. Just because your relationship was filled with so much emotion doesn’t mean that your breakup has to be. If you feel you are at your total limit, then speak calmly, kindly and directly. Even if he should raise his voice, that doesn’t mean that you have to “match” him. The truth is that there really “is” no easy way to break someone’s heart. Just think of how you would want it done if someone were to do it to you, and hopefully that thought will help guide you through this task. He may (or he may not) deserve it, but even he will respect you more for “doing it this way.” Try handling it with care instead of emotion, and if you need any inspiration, try this out from the Phantom Poet:

The time has finally come and even though we must part
There’s still no easy way to break somebody’s heart
While there were some good moments of fun and stuff
The bad times outweigh the good, and I have had enough
I just want to tell him, but my friends think I am being rash
I think he needs to be discarded just like Tuesday’s trash
He knows it’s coming and he already wants another chance
He has had too may already, and that is just my stance
I am not worried about his feelings, so I already did what I had to do
I just walked up to him and shouted, “I’m done with you…I’m THROUGH”
Once I part with you, then I’m done… That has ALWAYS been my motto
Then he turned and said, “Aw, now what can I do with the money from the Lotto?”
I said, “What money? What are you talking about? I really need to know”
He said, “I played the Lotto and hit it, for about 80 million or so”
He said, “I planned to surprise you, because I wanted to share it with you”
“Now I guess I will have to find someone else since we are now through”
Maybe I was a little too harsh on him, and maybe I should cut him some slack
Now that I think of it, now just might be a “great” time to take him back
Our relationship wasn’t so bad after all, and it wasn’t so difficult for me to live through
So I told my man that I had a change of heart, and right now I absolutely “forgive you”
I said that we can even get married and I am more than happy to welcome him back to the helm
He looked at me and said “Sure, we can reunite… when icicles ornament Satan’s fiery realm”
I can’t believe he dumped me like that. How in the world could he have so much nerve?
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean to him, and now I guess I got what I deserve

“Yet another scintillating masterpiece” from the Phantom Poet

Sheldon Reynolds (formerly of Earth, Wind and Fire) James Ingram, Brett Jolly, Johnny Croom (Former music director for Aliyah, Genuine, and Boyz II Men)