I know this is a loaded question, but I just had to ask this. What is your take on the Michael Douglas situation? He claims that his throat cancer came from having oral sex. I would love to know your honest opinion on this.
My honest opinion is that if oral sex causes cancer, then there are a “lot” of men out there that shouldn’t have “very long” to live. I also know of many “more” women whose days are “truly” numbered. I honestly don’t know enough about the medical profession to even “make” a statement like that. However, if I assume this to be true, then why are we just hearing about this now? I would have thought that this kind of news would have been discovered and released to the public many years ago. So is this a somewhat “new” revelation or just something that has been kept hidden all this time? Given this new discovery, does that mean that all the prostitutes of the world are now living on “borrowed time?” What about all those men who brag so much about being able to satisfy a woman? What should “they” be feeling right about now? On the outside we can laugh at this (because when I first heard it I thought it was some kind of joke) but I heard recently that the spokesman for Michael Douglas (Allen Burry) is trying “clean up” his statement by saying that oral sex “CAN” cause throat cancer, but it was not necessarily oral sex that led to his diagnosis. I am sure that everyone feels “extremely” relieved to get a medical prognosis from someone who “isn’t remotely” in the medical field. Would this mean that his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones now posses the most “dangerous” female organ? Cancer is serious under any circumstances, and I am glad to hear that Michael Douglas is doing much better now. I would love to know the “actual” figures of throat cancer that have been caused by oral sex (the “confirmed” numbers). As rampant as oral sex is, I just haven’t heard of many people “dying” from it. I also have not heard many stories of people even “having” throat cancer. I apologize if I can’t give this issue the “seriousness” that it deserves, but until I hear more other stories of this nature then I am going to assume that this case was more of an “isolated” incident. Will this news stop people from engaging in oral sex now? I “highly” doubt it. I am not sure “what” possessed Michael Douglas to even make this statement, but if his spokesman is trying so diligently to “clarify” his words then obviously they must recognize some “flaws” in it. I wish a full and speedy recovery to Michael Douglas and hope that he can find exciting and new ways to now “satisfy” his wife. Even though I am smiling now I hope that everyone exercises “extreme caution” while enjoying your lives. I think I am going to end this while I “still” can, and let the Phantom Poet take over from here:
When Michael Douglas developed a form of throat cancer
When asked about the cause, he used oral sex as the answer
While enjoying the pleasures of life and exploring new thrills
He came up with the new revelation that “Sex kills”
His spokesman tried diligently to clarify this so he needed to speak
And he tried to pass off Douglas’ words as merely “tongue in cheek” (argh!)
His wife is a beautiful actress and with that there is surely no wonder
Who “wouldn’t” take a risk with her and explore the “land down under?”
When enjoying the pleasures of sex, we all must sometimes take care
Maybe Mr. Douglas should have more periodically “come up for air”
While many people are thinking that this statement amounts to a bunch of bull
We couldn’t understand his spokesman, because it sounded like he had a “mouth full”
I am sure there are other ways to satisfy a woman, and many men out there can relate
But if oral sex causes cancer in the mouth, then what can happen to your prostate?
I guess there are risks with just about everything, so you shouldn’t even complain
If you cannot stand the consequences of having sex, then you only need to “abstain”
There are many stories of bad fates and we have surely heard them throughout the lands
If you don’t want to take the risk of sex with someone else, then just take matters into your “own” hands
“Mmmmmffffff” … The Phantom Poet
If you have a topic that you would like to feature, feel free to contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.
Harold Melvin’s Bluenotes and Brett Jolly in concert