Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Lost wedding ring)

Subject: Lost my wedding ring


After nine years of marriage, I lost my wedding band last week. I swear I didn’t take if off in a bar or hide it because I was having an affair. It just slipped down the drain at the gym. But I’m afraid my wife won’t believe me. Should I tell her what happened, or just go buy a replacement ring without her knowing?
Oh yeah, we all know THAT one…. The old “ My ring slipped off at the gym” excuse… That rates right up there with the “Some mad dog chased me down the street and ate my ring” theory…  Or how about “ I celebrated the Obama victory by throwing my hands in the air and the ring slipped off into the crowd” theory…  Oh, THIS is a highly used one… “These guys mugged me in an alley and took my ring” excuse… uh huh… Well, if it DID slip off of your finger and fall down the drain, then it must have been REALLY over-sized for your finger.  Well, no matter what you decide, your wife is going to notice at SOME point that you are NOT wearing a ring, so you’d best act fast. I don’t know your wife, but I’ll wager she would appreciate honestly from you before anything else. When you lie or try to hide things they have a tendency to haunt you later on. As long as you come to her honestly and tell the truth then she shouldn’t have any reason to doubt you (well, maybe just a “little”). You need to give your wife credit for knowing you well enough to determine if you are lying. Women may not always say it, but I believe that most of them know. When you start pausing to think of what you should do next then it only leads me to think that you might be trying to hide something from her. The best way to avoid having to lie to your mate is to first make sure you are never in a position where you’d have to even CONSIDER lying to him or her. The next best way is to just practice honesty… and don’t lie. When you do tell her the truth, let her go WITH you to purchase a new replacement ring if she wants to. Mistakes happen to us all. It is when we try to find an easier way to mention these mistakes that we often compound the issue by not being truthful from the jump. Don’t make this any worse than what it is. Tell her, and then go GET a new ring that fits better. In the long run, it should make you BOTH happier. Come on in and blow now, Phantom Poet:
I just lost me wedding ring, because it was fitting too loose
And on top of it, I don’t have a very good excuse
If I don’t come up with something good to tell my wife
Then I’m afraid I may have to fear for my life
Do you think I could get away with lying to her face?
I got it! I’ll say aliens kidnapped me from outer space
The experimented on me, then put everything intact
But they FORGOT to put my wedding ring back
If THAT doesn’t work, then I’ll say something else, I guess
Maybe I can say it was confiscated by the IRS
Or I could say some thugs stole it…yes, that I can say
And that we can probably find it for sale up on Ebay
But if I say all of these excuses, I just won’t have any proof
Maybe the only thing I can really do is tell her the truth
For me to lose my wedding ring is truly inconceivable
And my story to her is downright unbelievable
So I went to tell my wife, and a valuable lesson I surely learned
She said she knew, and the gym plumber found the ring and had it returned
She said she was just waiting in the wings to see what excuse I would use
And then said, “When you tell the truth, then you have nothing to lose”
Then she said, “I love you for being honest with me”
“Let’s go upstairs and be as naughty as we can be”
NOW I feel glad that I didn’t lie
And my wife thinks that I am upstanding guy
So when it comes to being truthful, it works, so don’t knock it
Dang! I forgot to take some girl’s phone number out of my pocket
If my wife finds out, I am not sure of what I can say
Maybe I’ll just tell her that some girl lost it along the way…
Can’t make a leopard change its spots… unless you spray paint it…

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The Delfonics and Brett Jolly in concert