Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How to keep a marriage together)

Subject: How to stay together in a marriage
I recently read an article about couples whose marriages lasted a hundred years. Some were Indians who married at five years of age but besides that, the article was really about couples who, once married, remained so until death. What helps a couple to stay together when she eats babyback ribs and he prefers hot dogs and pork chops? When she can sit for hours conversing with the aged and he can’t sit still for ten minutes? Tell me, kind sir, how can two such people afford a successful lifetime of loving each other?
If a couple can stay married for one hundred years then my hat is off to them. In fact, I will take just about EVERYTHING off to them, because at a hundred years of age I doubt their eyesight is good enough for them to see me naked anyway… For a couple to remain happily married for life I believe it only takes the concept of understanding each other well enough. When you think about it, great couples are not couples that ALWAYS get along. Great couples are those who understand each other well enough to KNOW that they WON’T always get along.  It won’t necessarily depend on compatibility either, because there are couples who have absolutely NOTHING in common and yet still enjoy a VERY healthy marriage. By the way, if you get married at five years of age what kind of sex life can you POSSIBLY have? Can you imagine playing “tag” on your honeymoon? How about giving your wife one of those plastic toy rings from Toys ‘R’ Us? From what I have heard, if most men that I know had to stare at the same face for a hundred years it would probably “kill” them… In our society marriages are difficult to maintain, only because people often get married with “unreal” expectations. I have always said that the person you start out with will not be the same one you end up with (should your marriage last long enough). If you marry your “best” friend (and not focus so much on the physical aspect of your mate) then you stand a greater chance of staying married. For those of you who have friends, just think about it. Have you ever had disagreements with your best friends? Even though you have had these disagreements, are you still friends with them today? The same principle applies to marriage. You don’t have to always get along, but if you understand each other then you will be able to deal with your disagreements better.  When your man has insecurities about his appearance you need to make him feel like he is still attractive (even when he looks like Jabba the Hut). Most men need to know to be completely SILENT when your wife asks you if she is putting on weight. Change the subject, talk about world events or set a house fire or something, but AVOID answering this question at ALL costs. Pretend to faint if you have to. Seriously, a marriage is only as great as what you put into it. Communication is extremely important, and sometimes it is best to continue your heated discussions later when cooler heads prevail. To answer your question, the best way for people to enjoy a lifetime of loving each other is to love with your “eyes closed” and your heart “open.”  Your mate will ALWAYS look great that way. Here is an eye opening verse from the Phantom Poet:
When it comes to marriage, we all have our fears
Even though some couples remain married for years
Is it possible to stay married that long without any regrets?
And if so, can you tell me some of those secrets?
How can you hope to stay married until your death?
When a man will try to speed up the process by holding his breath?
For men to have longevity, there is very little doubt
You need to ALWAYS agree with her, and then sneak the heck OUT
When you ask her “What’s wrong?” you KNOW she is only bluffing
When she gives you that wretched look in her eyes, and then says “Nothing”
And women should know that when you ask your man for money
Don’t even try to joke about it, because he won’t find it funny
And if you love your husband for his tight butt and great hair
Well forget about that, because at 90 both will no longer be there
And if a husband loves his wife for her tiny little waist
Forget about that too, because in 30 years it will look misplaced
So if you want your marriage to last from beginning to end
Then do yourself a favor… Just marry your “best friend”
Hey, “Buddy!” Let’s have “SEX”… The Phantom Poet


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Teddy Pendergrass and Brett Jolly in concert in Los Angeles, Ca.