Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Lied about age)

Subject: Lied about age

I’m a 24-year-old woman and have been on four dates with a great man I really like. He told me he’s 36, which I don’t feel is too bad of an age difference. I told a friend at work about him. It turns out she knew him. She told me he’s really 43, not 36. Now I don’t know what to do. If he lied about his age, won’t he lie about other things? Plus, 19 years older is quite a difference. Should I confront him, break it off, or pretend I don’t know?
I always like to look beneath the surface when it comes to people and why they do the things they do. Yes, in your situation, he lied, but I think it is more important to note WHY he lied to you. If he felt that your interest in him would disintegrate based on his age then that is somewhat understandable (even though it still does not excuse the fact that he lied). At 36 or 43 he is still “much” older than you… Only you can make the determination as to whether he is now “too old” or not. However, please keep in mind that if you had NOT discovered his real age then chances are your present relationship with him would still be fine and intact. However, I do think you should confront him about lying to you. You should let him know that someone who knows him says he is really 43 years old and you want to know why he didn’t have the heart to tell you in the first place. The reason for this is because if he feels that he can lie to you and get away with it once, then he most surely can do so again, and that is a habit you want to break him of now… Once he realizes that he should have been truthful to you then hopefully he will handle all future matters differently (“hopefully”). Most relationships are “never totally” equal, so it is quite possible to have differences in age, religion, or any other life topic. As long as your union is not considered illegal (or immoral) then there is no need to question your relationship. Also when you think about it, there are no guarantees that you will be happier with a man closer to your own age either. Feel free to love from the heart and be understanding of your mate’s imperfections, just as you would want him to be understanding of yours… Now is the time to understand the imperfections of the Phantom Poet:
I’m a 24 year old woman and just as fine as I can be
My man told me he was 36 when he is really 43
I just can’t seem to understand why he felt the need to lie like that
I want a relationship based on truth and also fact
I have ALWAYS been truthful with him, so lying will NEVER be an issue
He thinks I have a size 38 bust line (even though I have been stuffing it all with tissue)
Yes, I have truly been up front with him, and that you can surely believe
I just hope that one day he doesn’t find out that this hair is really a weave
The truth shall set you free, and the real person is the one underneath
That’s why I hardly ever open my mouth near him (You see, I have false teeth)
And the naughty things I have done with him I have NEVER done with any man before
Well, maybe with the exception of the two guys down the street, but nothing more
Because when you misrepresent yourself, then you’ve already encountered a huge hurdle
Just be the person you are (and please excuse me while I take off this tight girdle)
He doesn’t know that when I drink beer, I always do it by the “keg”
And I sincerely hope that one day he doesn’t find out about my wooden leg
Yes, honesty is important so you need to be as truthful as you can be
It will make your relationship so much better. Just take that tip from me…
“Baby, I never slept with ANY man other than you. In fact, we were both awake the whole ENTIRE time we had sex.”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, please feel free to contact me via my websites or Also, you can email me directly at


vintage shot of Brett Jolly with Verdine White, bassist for the R&B group Earth, Wind and Fire