Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Military love)

Dear Brett,
 
Subject: Military love
 
My girlfriend and I recently broke up. We have known each other for almost 8 years. (Mostly long distance as I’m in the military.) My world fell apart. I loved her since the day we met and I fell in love not long thereafter. I want her back but she insists we are done for good. I told her we could be friends and I would not pressure her to get back with me. I think however if I do, she will come back. If I don’t she will not come back. What do I do? Even if we get back together we will still be long distance for three more years. Can it work?
 
Your issue is one of timing. It sounds as though the reason your girl broke up with you is because you ARE in the military and so far apart from her. It is tough for a woman to love someone for such a long time and still be so distant from him. So much can happen in 8 years (and even more when you add another 3 years to it). It would be unfair for you to expect her to wait for you, because you are asking her to sacrifice a big chunk of her life on the hopes that you and her will still be the same people when you finally come back home. Because of the fact that you are in the military, there is even a chance that you might not come back at all. I hate to say that but you and her both have to look at reality. I think the best thing you can do is to let her live her life, but still keep in contact with her (if she allows it). If she happens to find someone else then there is nothing you can do about that. However, if she doesn’t, then continue communication until you get back home to see her and then see if you still have the same chemistry. That way the options will still be open for the both of you. Right now it makes no sense to have some of commitment. You’re not there, and you cannot be there for another 3 years.  There is a lot less pressure with the both of you being broken up. Besides, you need all of your concentration where you are, because one stray thought could cost you your life. If she is telling you that she is done for good then it could be the truth, or it could just be her defense mechanisms in place so that she doesn’t feel hurt from your absence. It is important for you to understand WHY she feels the way she does. If she didn’t love you, then it wouldn’t make a difference to her. Most men need to realize that when their women say certain things you need to search beyond the surface of what they are saying, because most women will speak from their own emotions.  When you understand your woman emotionally then you stand a much better chance of keeping her and making her happy. Here is a military poem from the Phantom Poet.
 
 
My woman is the one that I have always been longing for
However, I cannot be there for her, because I am currently at war
She says we are “broke up” and we are definitely done for good
She knows that I would be there for her if I only could
I hate to feel so down, so sad and downtrodden
I thought this war would end with the death of Osama bin Ladin
In the meantime, I hope my girl can hold off for as long as she can
I would hate to come home and find her in the arms of another man
If it’s meant for me to get back with her, then I most certainly will then,
If not, then I may come home to find her married, with children
In fact, there is no telling just what I might find
She may have a little son with a voice deeper than mine
She could also have about 6 or 7 kids hanging around
The father probably had enough, and decided to leave town
It could possibly be even worse than it sounds
What if during this time she actually put on 50 or so pounds?
A lot could have happened in about 8 years or so
She might be walking around sporting a purple wig. Yo!
She may only have about 50% of her teeth or possibly more
Maybe I had better take my chances and stick with the war
If she’s fat, ugly and a bum, those traits most certainly won’t be missed
So I think I will play it safe…I will head back to the office… and re-enlist…
 
                              “Don’t wait up for me, Honey!” The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to post on my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

 

Singer/actor Tyrese and Brett Jolly performing

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Fantasizing about “Dick”)

Dear Brett,
 
Subject: Fantasizing about “Dick”
 
I’m a man who found myself in love with another man. He’s stirred feelings in me that I haven’t felt in years. I would like to tell this man (I’ll call him Dick) how I feel But Dick is old-fashion and I’m not sure he would accept a man loving him. Should I tell him how I feel and let the chips fall where they may? Or should I remain silent and just continue to fantasize about what might have been?
 
So now I’m supposed to write an article about some man who wants “Dick?” Yeah… okay… Listen, you can call him ANY name you like, but for my article you REALLY could have come up with a “less provocative” name for him. For today, we will go with your lead and talk about trying to get “Dick” (I can’t believe I’m even doing this). I don’t think that in ANY relationship you should start off by telling someone up front (sorry… bad choice of words there) that you love him or her, because a lot of people feel that you can’t really love someone without first getting to “know” them…  Dick may have a “hard” time accepting your love (Aw, man, there I go again) but the best way to deal with him might be to just initiate a conversation and see where it leads. Most men will let you know right away if they are uncomfortable with your approach, and Dick might be the same way, but at least that way you can formulate an idea of Dick’s orientation (in other words, determine whether he is straight or gay). You can start out by asking him out someplace (just like any OTHER potential date) and check out his answer. If Dick has ANY degree of intelligence (Ladies, PLEASE DON’T respond to THIS statement) then he will probably figure out at some point that you are a gay man who is “attracted” to Dick (Man, I need to finish this article fast). At that point, it will be “up” to Dick to determine if he wants to start a relationship with you or not. If Dick has the “balls” to accept you as his lover then everything could work out great for you (What, like you didn’t know this statement was coming?). Just be careful how you approach him, because most men who are straight will take issue when being approached by gay men, and you don’t want Dick to get aroused when messing with him (On second thought, maybe you do) (Sorry, you can blame the weather here in Philadelphia)… Here is the Phantom Poet to help bail me out of this mess:
 
I want everyone to know that I am surely love sick
That’s because I want to be with a man named “Dick”
I am afraid to confront him because I think he may be old fashion
But I really wish I could show how I love Dick with passion
Once I tell him, he’ll know I’m gay, and my cover will be blown
Dick might just curse me out and tell me to go hold my own
I want to confess love to him, but do so through respectable means
You should see how great Dick looks in a neat pair of jeans
So I talked to Dick to see if he could relate
But my heart was broken, because Dick said, “I’m straight”
He said that being gay is stupid… It’s dumb… It’s crazy
And then he introduced me to his girlfriend “Daisy”
I looked, and then I laughed, and realized that he must be love starvin’
Because Dick doesn’t know that his girl used to be my old buddy Marvin
So for all of those bad things he said about me being gay
It ALL now applies to him, because “Daisy” just “made him” that way
Well, I may have lost out on Dick, but I will survive, and then
I realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea… and also “fishermen”…
 
“Man, I’m SO glad this is over” The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@love-notes.co

 

Gary US Bonds and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: The new song I wrote for Angel Nixxon)

Hi, everyone. Today I wanted to do something a little bit different. I would like to feature this song and video that I wrote for the upcoming single for Angel Nixxon. I produced, wrote and played every instrument on the song and I also filmed and edited the video. The song is entitled “Nothing you can say.” If you can, please copy and paste the link below into your browser and the video should play for you. Thank you and have a great day. The link is below:

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: DUI and no license)

I’m a single male. I’ve never had any real problems with dating women until now. I was convicted of a DUI, and I’ve lost my license for seven months. Is there a way to keep women interested after you tell them that you don’t have a license? Or should I just give up on dating? I’m not within walking distance of any good bars or restaurants. What can I do?
 
You can try something that I think most women would genuinely appreciate. You can tell the truth to the woman you are interested in and admit you made a mistake in your life. You can tell her that you did something wrong and that you have learned from your experience (provided, of course, you have truly learned from your experience). You can try being humble about it, and you know what? Some woman is going to LOVE you for it! If you think that being able to date a woman is only based on you having a car then you are not giving yourself much credit. If a woman appreciates your sincerity enough, she might just drive and come pick YOU up for a date. What happened to you is nowhere near as important as what you have learned from your experience. If this situation has made you a better man then I guarantee there is a good woman out there who will appreciate you more because of it. Do you still drink? Are you an alcoholic? Sometimes people don’t recognize the blessings they have in life. Would you prefer to still have your license and then chance some woman dying in an accident with you as a result of your inebriation? If something like that did happen, you would probably be begging for a second chance. Well, I have news for you. Today IS your second chance… You may not have a license, but you don’t have a murder rap on you either. Be thankful that ALL you lost is your license. “Man” makes the car… The car should NOT make the man… You should not have to give up on dating, but you might want to consider giving up on “drinking”. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and check out this Phantom Poet moment:
 
 
 
They took my license because I decided to drink and drive
But without my car, how can my dating life thrive?
What woman would want to go out with a man who has no car?
And how can I find a way to travel to the local bar?
I may have to face the reality that no more women will I get
Unless, of course, I do like everyone else, and search the internet
Here’s one particular woman who likes to drink, too
But she crashed and lost her license back in 2002
Here’s another woman who not only drinks, but she’ll actually guzzle
The only problem is that her face looks like it needs a muzzle
But still, this can work, and this woman could possibly be mine
Because after more than enough drinks, she’ll start to look just “fine”
But the morning after will be tough, because that’s when reality sinks
She will probably still look ugly, but that will be cause for “more” drinks
Look! I need a date, and if she can put up with my drinking
Then she’ll always look great to me drunk (or at least that’s what I’m thinking)
I may no longer have a license, but all is not as bad as it appears
I got this ugly varmint woman, and I’ve still got a few beers
I really cannot look at her sober. I just wouldn’t dare
Because she looks like she REALLY needs some affordable health care
But without a car, I’m stuck, and she’s about the best that I can do
But instead of her looking better, now I drank enough where I see “two”
Now I’ve had it, and I really need to change my life today
I’m going to throw this critter out, and go join “AA”
So here is my message that I want to convey to each and every one of y’all
It is better to live without a license, than not to live… at all…
 
I need another beer, because I can still see what she looks like… The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co

 

Singers Johnny Gil and Bobby Brown (Whitney Houston’s ex- husband) with Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Fantasizing about her sister)

Subject: Fantasizing about her sister
 
My fiance and I are in our late 20s.  I love her a lot. She is very intelligent, and I find her very attractive. The problem is that in bed, I have had better. Many times when we make love it ends without me “finishing.” She had noticed this and asked me if she still excites me. I tried to fix things by fantasizing about other women during sex, but that only worked a few times. I am blown away by her sister’s looks. I began fantasizing about her during sex and it’s amazing. The last month or so, our sex lives have been great. My fiance has noticed the difference. She is now questioning me about the changes. I don’t know what to tell her. She once commented, when I asked her to dress up certain ways, that she could “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.” Does she know something?  I worry that if I play stupid, she will grow very suspicious that I’m doing something besides having fantasies.
 
You know I am eagerly waiting for this one, and we ALL know what’s coming. One day you are going to call out the WRONG name, and then, instead of being blown away by her sister’s looks you will get blown away by your wife’s 57 magnum. Unless you want to go back to “single” eligibility, I strongly suggest that you NOT inform your wife that you are fantasizing about her sister. In order to spare you the death penalty, I will simply tell you that you only need to ASK your wife for the things you want from her. If she is indeed a “biological” sister then I’m sure there shouldn’t be too much physical difference between the both of them. If in fact your wife does suspect and is not saying anything, then you have nothing to lose by continuing to ask her to make changes.  For you to marry her in the first place means there had to be something there that you truly loved. Don’t be afraid to let her know what you would like to see her in (clothes wise) and even help her get to what you would like her to be. Listen, women LOVE to buy clothes for their men, because no one can make a man look better in public than his woman can. By that same token, there is nothing wrong with you returning the favor for your wife. If you have certain attire that you would like her to wear, go out and GET it for her. MAKE her become your new fantasy. When it comes to your wife, don’t settle for making her just as good as her sister. Make her even BETTER than her sister. Since you are married you have the right to at least ASK her to change some things (Just don’t be a fool like the guy in one of my articles the other day who demanded his wife to get a breast lift). In the meantime I would strongly suggest you refrain from making ANY statements about her sister in any sexual connotation (unless you have a secret fantasy about getting your butt kicked). Not only might your wife get mad at you, but she might get angry with her sister as well. Should your wife ever suspect you of fantasizing about someone else, tell her you are secretly in love with Oprah or somebody (Hey don’t laugh…EVERYBODY loves Oprah). As for her sister, I think you need to stay as far away as you can from her, before you get yourself in some SERIOUS hot water. Here is the Phantom Poet to shed some “light” on the subject:
 
 
She is my Mrs., and I am her Mister
So why do I keep dreaming of her sister?
Whenever our moments of great sex occur
It is because I secretly fantasize about her
Does my wife know, or does she even suspect?
When I keep staring at her sister, can she even detect?
I feel so bad for lying, but can she handle the truth?
Should she ever find out she just might go through the roof
She pulled me to the side last night, and I felt so much shame
because last night in my sleep I mistakenly called her sister’s name.
But she said for me not to worry, and that all is well
Because whenever we have sex, she secretly fantasizes about Denzel
Damn! I’m busted, and inadequate, to boot
I cannot even respond, and there’s nothing I can dispute
I feel so bad right now, and it feels as though I’ve been played
My wife said that if I can ever get Denzel, then partners we can trade
I now feel like a lumberjack with inadequate lumber
But there’s hope. I am trying to locate Denzel’s number
If I can pull this off, then what a great day this will be
Until then, it will just be my fantasy… my fantasy and me
 
 
 
“Yo, Den… What’s up, man?” The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co

 

Bonnie Raitt and Brett Jolly in concert

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Fear of commitment)

Subject: Fear of commitment
 
 I really enjoyed your column today. One thing I still can’t figure out though is why men are so afraid of commitment to marriage but they like to play games on women. Is it an ego thing?
 
First, thank you for reading my column. It feels good when people show their appreciation for what you like to do. When it comes to commitment a lot of men become apprehensive because once a man makes that commitment he feels as though he is tied into that relationship for life. For a man who has some  “playa” still left in his system, making a commitment could be the same as “self entrapment”. If his wife puts on 300 pounds later on, he is still expected to honor that commitment. If she cuts all of her hair off, he STILL has to honor that commitment. However, for women, it is not quite the same, because “most” (but not ALL) women will not care if their man loses his appeal. Women love more from the heart, while men are truly more “visual” creatures. A man will tell you that he loves you for your mind and then have his eyes seriously glued to your chest if you wear something with a low cleavage. However, if he “commits” to your cleavage…uh, mind (sorry!) then he usually has an expectation of it STAYING the way he likes it (which is where the “visual” part of being a man comes in). As we get older we ALL change… As for those men who like to play games on women, part of it is in fact ego, and the other part is just plain temptation… A man could have the best woman in the world, but when someone new comes along in a short mini skirt or low cut top that captures his “attention” then “some” men have a tendency to falter. That is where men need to control their urges. Believe it or not, most men who cheat DON’T usually have the actual “intention” of hurting the main woman in their lives (If they did, they wouldn’t try so darn hard to keep their cheating ways secret) but for some reason men always seem to get “caught” one way or another. Those men who are running games do so because they honestly believe they can get away with it without hurting anyone. The truth is that most women would be better at running games on men and getting away with it (if they actually chose to do so). Men are usually more careless and at some point ALWAYS seem to get busted. Have any of you ever watched the Maury show? Those men will go on camera up to the very last moment swearing they have not cheated on their woman, and yet 9.99999999 % of the time the lie detector test shows the man has lied. These guys KNOW they cheated, so why didn’t they just admit it before getting exposed on national TV? As ridiculous as this sounds the best way to hold onto a man is to actually “let him go”. When you tell a man that he can have any woman he wants (but don’t expect to come back to you) it is the same way of giving him his freedom and yet still allowing him to put “himself” in check. It puts him in a position to regulate his “own” ego. It is one thing to keep the gate closed for the dog (and have the dog curious as to what’s on the other side). It is another to open the gate and “dare” that dog to go out…  Give your atomic dog (uh… man….) the opportunity to go wherever he likes, but make sure to let him know that once he leaves that door will shut and locked behind him… A “smart” dog will not venture out past his limits… A smart man shouldn’t either… Here is a better perspective from the Phantom Poet:
 
I have a question, and I sincerely hope you let me know
When a man starts playing games, is it because of his ego?
Does he tend to view a woman as some kind of trophy?
Does he even want to take the time to get to know me?
Why is it so difficult to find a man who can be trusted?
And not have to worry about him always getting busted?
Will I ever find a man who will just commit to me?
Or is a game player all I can expect him to be?
Once he finds a cute woman who he likes without a doubt
He can date her, but when he returns, he will be locked OUT
He can then talk all that crap about how he loves me and would never harm me
But if he wants to get his clothes, then he’d better check the Salvation Army
And his favorite CD’s will be scattered all over the lawn
His computer I’ll take to the shop… for pawn…
His Nintendo is now nothing but fuses and wires
And he will now have to go to work on four flat tires
As for me, I added a whole new chapter to this caper
Tonight, a new man will be sleeping in his bed, and it will be our neighbor
He said he has always wanted the opportunity to live with me here
And oh, by the way, he just drank up ALL of your beer
So when your man wants to play games on a woman, it’s best that he know
We women can get another to take your place, and he’ll be ready to go
So if you want to go cheat, you’d best be a little more apprehensive
Because when we start breaking up all your stuff, it can be fairly “expensive”
 
“No, baby…. NOT my IPOD”… The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co

 

New generation artist Ashanti and Brett Jolly onstage during performance

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: When men lie)

Subject: When men lie
 
 
How can you tell when a man is lying? I just met this guy who is telling me that he works some kind of secret operation for the FBI. Because of his involvement with them, I cannot know where he lives and he can only call me, I cannot call him. Do you think he is lying to me?
 
This man is “so” lying and “so” married. Working some secret operation for the FBI? The only organization this guy works for with those initials is “Fraudulent, Broke, Incorporated”. What really bothers me is that some woman out there will actually fall for this unbelievable tale and he will have acquired yet another “victim”. Just think about what he is saying… If he says that he is engaged in some secret mission for the FBI then he has ALREADY jeopardized his mission by telling you that he even WORKS for them. If he has to keep his profession secret, he just blew it by divulging that he even “has” a secret occupation. This guy has nothing to do with central intelligence… In fact, he has nothing to do with ANY intelligence…  There are certain things every woman should be  leery of when dealing with men. First, if you are not allowed to see or know where he lives, then that should be a strong red flag. Second, if you cannot call him (or cannot call him at home during certain hours) then that should be ANOTHER red flag. If you are not allowed to know where he works, call him at work or even meet him at work, then he is also concealing something from you.  If you are not allowed to meet ANY of his friends or family then that is also a “no-no”. You should always pay attention when you go out in public to see if he is constantly looking over his shoulder for someone who might possibly know him. If your relationship features any of these situations, then you might want to consider “breaking him off” in a totally DIFFERENT kind of way.  Married men (or men with live in lovers) who cheat will go to exorbitant means to make sure they can date you without compromising their family situations. If a man tells you that you cannot contact him but you should wait for him to contact you, then most likely he has an already established family (complete with a woman mate) somewhere else. Most of all, beware when a man tells you that he has some sort of “glamor” profession. I have heard stories of men claiming to be astronauts, undercover FBI agents, high price lawyers, judges and all kinds of crap just to impress women. If you want a true and REAL relationship, then I would suggest that you measure a man by his heart, and not by his “money” or “occupation”. In the long run, I’ll bet your life will have a whole lot less “stress.”. Let’s start this day off with a stress-relieving sermon from the Phantom Poet, shall we? :
 
 
This man says he is an astronaut, and brags about all the things he’s got
And yet the more he tries to explain it, the more he sounds like an astro- “not”
Then he keeps trying to tell me that he works for the FBI
When he said his last name was “Bond”, I thought that “might” be a lie
Then this man REALLY attempted to try the fates
How can you “secretly” be President of the United States?
Somehow I think this man is trying to pull my chain
Now he’s claiming to be Thor, God of thunder and rain?
He thinks he can get with me, and impress his way into my life
But for all I know this man already has a wife
As for all these great occupations he is trying to put through
He may just be broke, and unemployed, too
I’m tired of all these false jobs he’s claiming…I am so fed up with that
So my new name is now Batwoman, and this… this is my BAT…
You’ve told me too many lies, and now this is it
I think ONE of your alter egos is about to take a “hit”
It could be the astronaut or the FBI agent. I really don’t rightfully care
You’re about to take a trip into space, so you’d better prepare
When you get back home, you can explain to your wife how you got that lump
And tell her how you tried to play me for some kind of chump
So if you want to lie, then this much will certainly be true
My new job is to put dents in the heads of playas like you
So since you work for the FBI, you’ve now got a new case
Hopefully they will be able to find the woman, who just reconstructed your face…
 
 
       “FBI” NOW stands for Fractured, Broken and Injured… The Phantom Poet

If you would like to feature a topic for my Daily Thought, feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co

Bett wright, Vivian Green and Jaguar Wright in concert with Brett Jolly

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