Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Jealous Fighting Boyfriend)

Subject: Jealous fighting boyfriend
I have a really nice boyfriend. He treats me well, and thinks the world of me. My biggest problem with him is that he is extremely jealous, and wants to fight any man that he thinks is staring at me. At times it is really embarrassing. What can I do to get him to stop?
I think one of the best things you can do is let him go out and get beat down (You know it is going to happen). He needs to get one of those good old fashioned “Thrown across the yard, bottle upside the head, swollen eye shut” type of beat downs  (you know…like the kind they show in the movies).  He is obviously headstrong and intent on protecting your honor, even if it is being done in a somewhat disrespectful way. He is only acting this way to impress you, and he will continue to act this way until you either put him in his place or he actually does get beat down. Some men can be territorial (okay, well, maybe all men), and the real issue here is his “insecurity”. He feels that he has to prove himself to you in some form or fashion, so the best way he knows how is to show you that he is willing to fight for you. It really isn’t necessary, but you are the one who needs to tell him. Let him know that it is embarrassing you and that he doesn’t need to fight everyone to prove his love for you. I have a friend of mine who lifts weights. EVERY time he talks to a woman he ALWAYS talks about some fight he got into with someone he beat up. I came to realize that the reason he does this is because he feels the best thing he has going for him is his strength. He feels that if he mentions his physical confrontations that the women will somehow be impressed by how “strong” he is. He is really not much different than other men, though. Some men like to impress women with how much money they have. Some men like to impress women with the kind of car they drive, or the job status they have. I am sure that a lot of women reading this can identify with at least one of these male characters. Men have always felt that they need to have something “going on” for women to “like” them, instead of letting the women like them for who they are. This is just the competitive nature. Unless you like for him to constantly defend your honor, then let him know that he doesn’t have to take on the rest of the world to have you. Let him know that you think he is sweet and that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone stealing you from him. Let him know that you are perfectly capable of handling any unwanted advances. After that, if he still acts up, then I suggest that YOU whip his behind… You need to give him one of those “take off your heels, roll up your sleeves and un-clip the weave,” memorable beat downs (I never saw women remove their weaves in the movies, but if they ever do I want to see it). Make him feel more secure in your relationship, and hopefully we will get the message. However, if he doesn’t, then just read him this motivational piece from the Phantom  Poet:
I love my man, but he is always jealous
He keeps getting in fights with all the other fellows
He gets highly upset when another man looks at me
And then he gets as volatile as he can be
He confronts the man, and then with all his might
He goes into battle, and then he loses the fight
It might not be so bad if at least every now and then
He could go fight somebody, and actually “win”
I wish on his face I could put some protective foam
But the best I can do is ice packs when we get home
I know he loves me… that I can plainly see
But what can I do? He can’t even beat ME
His face comes back battered, black and blue, but it’s okay
I was never really attracted to his face anyway
There’s always a happy ending to these fights, though
Because after my man is unconscious, I use my Tae Kwon Do
I then go over to the man and beat him within a fraction of his life
And let him know that he ought to be glad I don’t carry a knife
Then after my man comes to I congratulate him for what he’s done
Then I show him the comatose man and let my man know that he “won”
That way he can get his confidence up for the “next” go round
When AGAIN I will probably have to pick him up… from off the ground…
                                “Muhammed Jol-ly”… The Phantom Poet


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Teddy Pendergrass and Brett Jolly in concert in Los Angeles