Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Neglected Family)

Subject: Neglected family
My little cousin had a boyfriend that left her and married a girl that he got pregnant. Well when he left her he had no Idea that she was pregnant also. She told him later but he denied the baby and wanted a DNA test. Now her son is almost 8 months old she gave him the paternity test to prove to him it was his child and since he got the test back 99.99% he has had the child for the weekend once and also has come to see him and introduced him to his mom. But he hides the child from the wife and other child. Well both the guy and his wife are my friends and I chat with them everyday. She is so sure that her marriage is the best it has ever been but now I am frustrated because he is not providing for my little cousin and she has even allowed him all this time without telling his new wife or taking out child support so she would not mess things up for him and have him charged by the service for adultery. She also is struggling living in another state without family while serving her country. I help her when I can but it is just too much for her to do alone. He doesn’t even bother to see the child anymore. I want to tell my friend the wife that my cousin’s new son is her child’s brother. She already has mentioned that they look so much alike. Is this a good Idea because he won’t do anything and it falls on us to make sure she has enough for the child. In the meantime I see his other son being wined and dined and dressed to the nines when she is struggling with her son and talking to the wife all the time and keeping it a secret as if the child were a dirty secret really bothers me! What do you think I should do? I was in this situation before with an ex-boyfriend and this is the same friend that told me he had a child when I didn’t know.
It is perfectly understandable to want to help, but this is strictly a matter between your cousin and him. If you take matters into your own hands it could eventually make you look unfavorable in EVERYONE’S eyes. The wife might hate you for waiting so long to tell her and blame you for subsequently breaking up her “great” marriage. The husband might hate you for meddling in his affairs, and the cousin might not want you to take her matters into your own hands (especially when she has the option to do so herself). As for her child, she can get all the help she needs through family services court. All she has to do is go there and file. The court will take care of all the rest. If she chooses not to do so then it isn’t your responsibility to support her… It is his… She “CAN” make him pay… “one-way or another”… The best way to get him to support his other child may not necessarily be to take him to court, but to at least THREATEN to take him to court. I am sure he knows what the circumstances could be if he is brought in front of a legal representative and if he is smart he should choose to avoid that situation at “all” costs… Right now the only reason he is doing nothing is because he knows he can get away with it. He is taking advantage of your cousin’s weakness and taking it for granted that she won’t pursue any legal remedies against him. Up to now he has been “right.” The best way to help your cousin is to talk to “her” and convince her to confront him about what she needs for her child. The child should NOT have to suffer, especially when it HAS a father who CAN support it. If your cousin refuses to ask for money from the father then for him it will be the same concept as “Out of sight, out of mind”. As long as he doesn’t see the child, then in his mind this child will not “exist”. The child is real… and so is his responsibility… Helping your cousin support her child will not give her the encouragement she needs to confront the father about help. It will only make her more dependent on YOU. As long as she knows she can get money from you, then there is no need for her to address him. As painful as it might feel, stop doing for this child, and help her get the strength she needs to step up to this man and MAKE him responsible… Once his paycheck starts diminishing for child support, the wife will ultimately find out something (Wives have a way of knowing when their man’s money starts to run short). If she is like most inquisitive wives, she will eventually snoop around and find out about this other child on her own. It will happen in time… Right now, it might be wise to check out this “happening” sermon from the Phantom Poet:
My cousin’s boyfriend left her, and found another woman to pursue
He got this new woman pregnant along with my cousin too
We took a DNA test, and the results were as expected
He takes care of one baby, but leaves the other one neglected
He lives with his new family, and got his woman a ring
But when it comes to his other child, he doesn’t give anything
We want him to take care of this child too, and if he doesn’t handle this with caution
He is going to come home one day, and find his car put up for auction
This action might be considered drastic, and some may consider it to be “steep”
We’ll place the baby on top with a sign that says, “Take my daddy’s car… CHEAP”
And if that doesn’t work, then other remedies are to be had
We can put his picture on a highway billboard with the caption “Deadbeat Dad”
And if that doesn’t work, there are other things we can also do
We can list his address and phone number on that billboard, too
Some may think that we are taking this too far, and getting way too hyper
But I think we should mail his other family boxes… of his child’s “poopy” diapers
Maybe then he will get an idea of how his other family is so poor
Those “poopy” diapers are sure to smell like a “nuclear war”
These pampers represent everything that he has not given his child
On top of that, we’ll STILL take him to court (Now ain’t that wild?)
So if you’re a man with a child and you have not paid one red cent
Then you’d better step up to the plate, and start to represent
Don’t think you can just ignore it, and expect it to go away
Because you too can get mailed your child’s poopy diapers… “each and every” day…
                                  “Aw man! Special delivery?” The Phantom Poet

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Kenny Lattimore, Wayne Brady, and Brett Jolly in concert



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