Subject: Warped joke
My friend has a strange sense of humor but he went too far this time. He faked his death and he submitted an obituary. We have mutual friends who are really shaken up about it. He intends to meet his friends at the funeral parlor when they come to view him. I’m upset because I see our mutual friends really hurting and I want to tell them, but I feel like I would be betraying him.
THAT is not a good joke at all, and most certainly is “not” funny… Actually, his sense of humor may end up costing him some friends in the process. When your friends see him at the parlor they should “kill” him anyway, because anyone who would do something like that really has a warped sense of humor. Personally I think it is a real stupid prank to pull, and if I were in your position I would surely tell your friends the truth anyway. However, I would not let this prank go further without first turning the tables on him. There are several things you can do to show him how “wrong” his actions are. The first thing you could do is alert everyone else and then have NO ONE show up at the parlor on that particular day. He should feel “really loved” after that. The next thing you could do is lie to him about how one of his friends didn’t have any “funeral” days at his job, so when he told his boss he was taking off for the funeral his employment was terminated. Let’s see how much this guy appreciates his prank after it costs his friend his livelihood. You can also send a whole bunch of strangers that he has never seen before to the parlor to represent you instead of his actual friends. That would serve him right as well. You can also send flowers and signs to the parlor saying things like “Good luck in your new location”. You can even say that all of you rode down in the same car and got involved in a serious auto accident, and wait for him to show up at the hospital to pull the joke on him. This one I am saving for last: I say his friends should confiscate ALL his belongings out of his house and even wear some of his clothes to the parlor. Normally I don’t advocate “tit for tat”, but in this case I think is important to show this guy the severity of his actions. Maybe if it happens to him then he will come to realize that these kinds of jokes are unnecessary. Anyone who feels this kind of joke is funny is not rowing with both oars in the water. It is about time to show this guy the “oar-er” of his ways (ouch). Don’t allow your friends to suffer because of the irresponsibility of this one idiot. Stop the madness “before” it begins, and save everybody a lot of grief and aggravation. Then pray that later on in life that your friend “grows up”. Here is a mature revelation from the Phantom Poet:
My friend likes to play tricks, so he pretended that he died
Our friends have no idea that he intentionally lied
He staged his own obituary and funeral date for the parlor
I say that we give him burial at sea, and take his body to the harbor
To me it won’t make a difference whether he is dead or alive
We can still dump him off the water’s edge… and I’m willing to drive
This was surely wrong, and his joke went too far today
So if we kill him, so what? He is listed as “dead” anyway
We can even tie him up and gag him, so he won’t be able to debate
Hey, I’ve got an even better idea… Why don’t we cremate?
It’s much cheaper than a casket, and his ashes will end up in an urn
The question is whether he needs to be dead first “before” we can burn
Details, details… What difference will it make?
If we burn the sucker now we can make it back home by eight…
We can take his ashes and put them somewhere on a shelf
Oh my goodness! I think he just “wet” himself
That serves him right. And hopefully he learned his lesson
Because playing jokes like that is just out of the question
He will no longer play any more jokes, for we have found the cure
Because they next time he does, we will just kill him… for sure…
Since he has now wet his pants, the prospect for finding humor seems slim
That’s a good thing, because now “this” joke… is on “him”….
ANOTHER great moment in history…from the Phantom Poet
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The Miracles (Hits include “Baby baby, Tears of a clown, Just a love machine”) and Brett Jolly in concert