Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

“Politics”… and the “morals that often accompany them”… When candidates present their agendas, there seems to be more at stake than just their platforms. Often private lives are opened to public scrutiny (usually presented at the wrong time, or maybe the “right” time)… For instance, it is amazing how the timing of Newt Ginrich’s ex wife’s interviews happens to “coincide” with his primaries. For those of you who didn’t know, Marianne Gingrich, Newt’s “second ex-wife,” told ABC that when Newt admitted to a six year affair with a congressional aide, he asked her if she would share him with the other woman (whose name is Callista and is now married to Gingrich). Please understand that I am not admitting to be a supporter of Newt at all, but even I have to admit that the timed “proclamation” of this revelation has an aura of “political sabotage.” I am sure that Newt is not a saint by any means, and it is possible he may have engaged in even more immoral acts that we don’t even know of. However, the man has a right to admit “change” (“IF” he has indeed done so) and I think it is about time that the press stops “crucifying” candidates based on past relationship infractions. Don’t get me wrong, I (by NO means) support their acts of infidelity. They are “absolutely wrong” for their immoral behaviors and we all know it. However, I have “long ago” given up on the prospect of finding a candidate with a “squeaky clean” image. When you think about it, there were allegations that Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama tried pot (whether they admitted to inhaling or not). There were stories of infidelity with John F. Kennedy. I just recently saw a tabloid magazine article that claimed Richard Nixon was secretly “gay.” When it came to their abilities to govern the country those past indiscretions hardly made an impact. Whether you like Next or not, he is a political “firecracker.” His fuse is always “lit” and explosions from him are always “just beyond the horizon.” Now he is blasting the press for airing these accusations from his ex wife. If this story has a ring of familiarity to it, just recently Herman Cain “dropped out” of the race due to accusations of infidelity levied against him. While the drama makes for “great ratings” I think it is about time we stop using the “relationship” card to ascertain the capabilities of Presidential candidates, because if we check thoroughly into ALL their records I’m sure we could find evidence of “infractions” that could exclude them ALL. We don’t have to “like” what a political candidate has done in his or her past, but that doesn’t mean that we should use past indiscretions to cloud our ability to “judge” their platforms. EVERYONE who is human is prone to make mistakes  in his or her life, because NONE of us are “perfect.” A leader can be someone who led a wrong life but managed to “right” himself after a second chance (or in Newt’s case, a second or third chance). It is kind of ironic that I am even defending him, because Newt was someone who actually condemned Bill Clinton for his lack or moral leadership, but just like Clinton, I believe Gingrich should be judged on what he brings to the table, and not what’s “under” the table. I am by NO means saying that anyone should vote for him, but I won’t throw him under the bus for accusations that are “politically motivated” either. I don’t know if we have EVER had a “saint” in the White House, but when it comes to running the country, give me someone with “balls” who can be a real “bastard” when he or she needs to be. I don’t need a leader who made all “A’s” in school. I need one who knows how to cater to the needs of this country. As always, I welcome and entertain all comments, questions, and contradictions. Thank you and I hope you all are having a truly “Jolly” day today. Here is the Phantom Poet to take us through the weekend:

Whether you love him or you hate him, there is truly no dispute
There is no way in the world that we can just ignore Next
Either he is making headlines for talking about Black unemployment checks
Or he is coming under fire for having extra-marital sex
His pension for drama makes for great ratings, so we listen to what he’ll say
But the truth of the matter is I doubt I’ll vote for him anyway
When it comes to his marriage vows, with God he will have to atone
But we all know about his infidelities, so why not just leave it alone?
I just know that we need a leader who helps to bring us all together
And when comparing him to the other candidates, I’m not sure if they are any better
The Republicans are trying to mount a challenge to the leadership of Obama
but I don’t think we should let our votes be influenced by drama
I just want to know if the elected leader can “make the cut”
And if he has infidelity baggage with him, then “so what?”
I don’t need a drama elected President and the reason for this is “because”…
I vote as if my life depends on it, because in all reality… it “does”…

“From the hollowed halls of lyrical deprivation”… The Phantom Poet

A blast from the past, Brett Jolly and Verdine White, bassist for Earth, Wind and Fire

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Brett Jolly, We all want to love and be loved, I think. But sometimes people fall out of love. Why?

“Because in some instances they feel they HAVE to.” When the love that you feel for someone turns into “the pain you feel for someone” then it can cause you to literally “fall out of love” with that person. It doesn’t mean that they stop loving that person, but it could be that they no longer love what that person has “become.” Remember that as we all go through life we are continually changing. In most long relationships that person you started out with won’t necessarily be the same person you “end up” with, and when that change becomes unbearable is normally when most people fall “out” of love. Change is not always “physical.” It can be spiritual or mental. For instance, a woman could dress up fashionably to attract a man during the early “dating” stages. Once she finally has her husband then she could develop a tendency to let herself go completely by putting on many extra pounds or by no longer continuing to dress fashionably. On the other side, a man could court his woman with flowers and candy during the early dating stages and yet after marriage he could cease all that activity and talk disrespectfully to her, which could cause that woman to fall out of love with him. Love is not something you “see” but rather something you “feel.” When your feelings for someone change then in essence you could be “falling out of love.” The question then is “what do you do when someone falls out of love with you?” There are two distinct choices: You could fight to regain the love of that person or you can just “let them go.” Fighting for the love of someone only works when he or she “wants” you to fight. Unfortunately, a lot of people fail to realize that you just cannot “make” someone fall in love with you. You may succeed in getting him or her to love you, but that is NOT a guarantee of being “IN” love… When it comes to letting someone go, many of us are selfish by nature and we have problems admitting to ourselves that we are no longer “wanted.” Sometimes loving someone means that you “have” to let him or her go. It might be for his or her own sake, or it might be for yours… but when the love becomes the pain then it develops into a different feel and look. Yes, we all want to love and be loved, but for love there is never a “warranty.” It will always be “as is.” If you have a relationship of “honesty” then that is important, because with honesty you can work around your differences. When you continue to live a lie in the “name of love” then that is normally when the relationship falters. Love can be great, and love can be devastating… but it is rarely “guaranteed.” I hope your day is awesome, and I hope you all feel “jolly” today. Here comes the Phantom Poet to just “ruin” the mood:

When it comes to all the topics today that I could be thinking of
I’d like to know why it is that we sometimes fall out of love?
We’d like for love to last forever, but sometimes things get strange
We never think about the fact that lovers can sometimes change
The man loves his woman’s cute butt or at least that is how it sounds
But that love could turn to pain if she puts on (Oh, about 30 extra pounds)
Or if a woman desired a night of passion, she probably reckoned
That her night of raw passion would have lasted more than just  “one” second
We all go into relationships with the expectation of it being great
But it still couldn’t hurt if we could be offered a guarantee on our mate
“To promise to each day use love terms like baby and honey”
“And promise not to scream and yell over issues like money”
“To live up to all the promises that in the beginning were said”
“And to only kick, bite, and hurt… during passionate sex in bed”
“To deal with the bad times, the hurt and the sorrow”
“But still continue to love each other as though there is no tomorrow”
Yes, we all want to be loved and it is no fun to be alone
So when you love, do so from the heart, because the love you save just might be your own….

“Taking a bow now to thunderous applause”… The Phantom Poet

 

Brett Jolly “back in the day” with Johnny Gill and Bobby Brown

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

A friend of mine who is also a writer posed an interesting question to me yesterday, and that question was, “Is it okay to date a close friend of your ex?” At first I was startled, because my first thought was “Why would anyone want to date a friend of your ex?” From a male perspective (and yes, I do have a male perspective) your girlfriend HAS to have someone to “talk to” about all your “screw ups.” Ten times out of ten that person will be her best friend. So if you try to get with her girlfriend, who is SHE going to talk to when you have “your” moments? Uh huh… you got it… your “ex.” On the other side of the coin, if the girls were friends before I just can’t imagine them still being friends after one of them starts dating the other one’s “former” boyfriend. No matter how long ago the relationship ended, for the ex it would bring back emotion that that might trigger “homicidal maniac” tendencies. Also, I can’t help but think that if a man KNOWINGLY tries to go after his ex’s best friend then he is “only” doing so for the purpose of making his former girl angry. “THAT… is petty…” Finally, in most cases best friends often seem to mimic the same thoughts, perspectives, and attitudes of each other. Going after your ex girl’s “friend” could be paramount to dating a “slightly” different version of your “ex.” To me, that seems downright crazy. Now legally there is no rule out there that says you cannot date your ex’s best friend, but you HAVE to know that this would be wrong on “all” counts. Also, there would be more than just one villain in this caper. It takes “two” to tango, and the girlfriend would be just as much a culprit if she allowed it to happen. What about a casual acquaintance of your ex? That depends on the degree of “casual acquaintance.” If your ex just happens to know of this woman but they have had no meaningful social interaction then there is no bond there and that is “possibly” allowable. However, be careful where you tread and you should always think of things from the “other” perspective. Would you like it if your ex started dating one of “your” friends? Proper dating etiquette is that when you break off a relationship you at least have enough decency to respect what you had. Of course, I am sure there are people out there who are more than willing to “test the limits.” When you have feelings for someone, those feelings don’t always cater to “the rules.” When you feel love for someone, you can do your best to hide it, but you can’t hide it from yourself. There is a right way and a wrong way to love someone. Going after your best friend’s ex (and your ex’s best friend) is not the way to do it. Love from your heart, but don’t forget to think with your brain (notice I didn’t say head?) when engaging anyone for a relationship. It just might save you… from getting “shot.” Have a great day, and talk to you tomorrow. Of course, this story just can’t be complete without a significant verse emanating from that champion of lyrical depravity, the “Phantom Poet:”

Through all the years of love, intimacy, laughter and sex
Do you think it’s right to date the best friend of your ex?
For the male perspective, you really should quit
Because this friend has talked to your ex, and knows ALL your “sh-tuff”
When it comes to most male relationships, many have had a few dozen
But dating your ex’s best friend is equal to her dating your close cousin
Going from friend to friend in relationships is not the proper action
Just think about how it played out with Randy and Jermaine Jackson
Just think of the signals that this relationship would be sending
And you KNOW in the end there’s no way to have a happy ending
So if your girlfriend wants to date your old boyfriend, there’s no need to debate her
Just pull our you gun, cock and load it, then shoot first and ask questions later
In between the shots you can listen to the explanations she is conveying to you
but after you finish with her, then go on out and shoot your former boyfriend too
If they truly love each other, then you can do your best to place them on one accord
You can make sure they have adjacent beds they can share in the emergency ward
And they can both learn how to walk again together, but this is the real deal:
They will both regret dating behind your back. That is, of course, after they both “heal”….

“How does he DO it? Please let’s have a standing ovation for the Phantom Poet”

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

Every now and then I get responses to my articles that disagree with what I have written. There is nothing wrong with that. Even though this is my site I love to open it up to everyone, whether pro or con. Yesterday I put up an article about why Dr. King’s birthday should be a national holiday. I was “surprised” by this particular response, so I decided to air and address it today. Here it is:

 

 

 

 

“As a white person I know Dr King did good for all of mankind. Please do not put all white people in the small place in your small mind. But I guess this is your website so you can spew your prejudices as you see fit. There are white people who are not prejudice and view people according to the way they carrying themselves and not because of the color of their skin. To this I believe you owe white people an apology.”

 

 

 

 

First I would like to sincerely thank you for your comment. I have had people disagree with me before and even though this “is” my site I have no qualms displaying “contrary opinions.” As you can see, I left the original article in today’s post (unedited) so that everyone can look it over again and I invite anyone to show me “anywhere” in it where I referred (or inferred) to “ALL” White people. I have read my piece over and over again and somehow I “fail” to find that particular phrase listed “anywhere.” Also, I did some paraphrasing in the piece, which meant that those phrases that were in “quotations” were NOT my words, but rather the words from “other” people who aired “their” opinions to me. Once you get to know me, you will find that I am always willing to listen to contrasting opinions. If I am wrong (and I am proven wrong) then I have no problem in apologizing (but first you absolutely “must” prove me wrong… that is only fair…). No matter how many times I go over this article I just can’t seem to find the inferences you are making in regards to your stated “prejudices.” Many of my best friends are indeed White, and I actually “quoted” a couple of them in my article. Also, if you had read my article thoroughly you should have come to the conclusion that the major emphasis of it was to honor King’s legacy of “peace” when it comes to making his birthday a national holiday. As far as I can see, there is nothing “generalizing or disparaging” in that concept. I honestly have no idea where you derived this other ideal of racial prejudice. I have found in my life that there will always be people who are quick to judge that which they don’t fully understand. I invite anyone else to take read over my article and tell me if you see the same “prejudices” that this individual has referred to. For the record, it is widely known that there are MANY White people who are not prejudice and view people according to the way they carry themselves. I support this same fact, and I don’t believe there is any sentence in my article to refute that statement.  I detect hostility in these words and rather than respond with equal hostility I will take a page from Dr. King and offer this person an olive branch (and the chance to get to know me). This person may already have me tried and convicted in his or her eyes but that won’t stop me from exhibiting love back. You see, “peace” starts with confronting hostility with love in your heart, and it is very difficult to embrace peace when you are exhibiting anger. I will ask this individual to jettison the accusations of hostility and address me with a kinder and loving heart. I will gladly share my views with anyone and I have no problem at all when it comes to offering “clarification” of my own statements. In other words, please “understand” me first before you “judge” me. Unfortunately today you will not get the apology you seek in this response. I only apologize for violations I have “knowingly” made, and not for violations made by “accusation only.” I will, however, say that I am sorry that you misunderstood me. I respect your opinion and I love you as my fellow brother or sister in God’s eyes. For me, THAT is what the true meaning of Dr. King’s legacy embraces. If you can address me with that same sentiment, then I sincerely invite you to respond back again. Thank you again for your response, and below is the article featured in its entirety. God bless you and your family and I wish a “jolly” day to everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is Martin Luther King’s birthday, and I have had quite a few discussions with people who actually wonder why his birthday should be made into a national holiday. I have heard comments like “He was never president of anything” and “What did he really do?” I realize that there will always be doubters to his cause. If you don’t want to give any credibility to his life, then maybe you can look at it from another perspective. Holidays are usually designed with some type of “theme” in mind. Christmas is supposed to bring joy and good cheer to our lives while celebrating the birth of Christ. Thanksgiving is when we are supposed to give thanks for our blessings. Veterans Day is designed for honoring veterans. King had his own legacy. Martin Luther King fought a battle, but fought it using the concept of “peace” as a weapon. He did not set out to overthrow the government, promote violence or even a revolution. He only wanted equality for his people gained through peaceful measures. From what I have heard, many White people only know him from all the things he did for Black people. What they fail to realize is that he did a lot for White people as well. When you can “change” the way “society” as a whole “thinks”, then that is a “major” accomplishment. The human race as a whole has changed “significantly” since King’s platform, and that is the exact reason why he should be honored with a national holiday. The focus should not be placed on race, but rather on “cause.” The principle of “peace” is something that we all should incorporate in other endeavors of our lives. In fact, celebrating peace is more than enough justification for honoring King on a special day. Some people will still reject the concept of honoring King, and their way of thinking only further promotes why we should “always” honor King Day. Peace is important to everyone’s existence, and without it our chances of honoring the other holidays are extremely remote. For me, the answer is clear: Happy King day to everyone…

 

This is Olivia Newton John and Brett Jolly along with her musical director Amy Sky.

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Today is Martin Luther King’s birthday, and I have had quite a few discussions with people who actually wonder why his birthday should be made into a national holiday. I have heard comments like “He was never president of anything” and “What did he really do?” I realize that there will always be doubters to his cause. If you don’t want to give any credibility to his life, then maybe you can look at it from another perspective. Holidays are usually designed with some type of “theme” in mind. Christmas is supposed to bring joy and good cheer to our lives while celebrating the birth of Christ. Thanksgiving is when we are supposed to give thanks for our blessings. Veterans Day is designed for honoring veterans. King had his own legacy. Martin Luther King fought a battle, but fought it using the concept of “peace” as a weapon. He did not set out to overthrow the government, promote violence or even a revolution. He only wanted equality for his people gained through peaceful measures. From what I have heard, many White people only know him from all the things he did for Black people. What they fail to realize is that he did a lot for White people as well. When you can “change” the way “society” as a whole “thinks”, then that is a “major” accomplishment. The human race as a whole has changed “significantly” since King’s platform, and that is the exact reason why he should be honored  with a national holiday. The focus should not be placed on race, but rather on “cause.” The principle of “peace” is something that we all should incorporate in other endeavors of our lives. In fact, celebrating peace is more than enough justification for honoring King on a special day. Some people will still reject the concept of honoring King, and their way of thinking only further promotes why we should “always” honor King day. Peace is important to everyone’s existence, and without it our chances of honoring the other holidays are extremely remote. For me, the answer is clear: Happy King day to everyone…

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Mr. Jolly, I have a situation that I would love for you to feature for me. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 years. I know he loves me and I love him back. Well, now we are at odds. You see, he asked me to have his baby. There is nothing really wrong with that because I would LOVE to have his baby. The problem is that if I am going to have his baby, I want us to be MARRIED. He told me that he wants me to move in and live with him, but he does NOT want to get married. I think this comes from marital problems his parents experienced. Mr. Jolly, I was brought up old fashioned and I would love to be his (or somebody’s) wife. Do you think I am being too stubborn or selfish?

 

Not at all. In fact, you are more right than HE is. If he cares about the baby that he wants you to have, then why should he want his baby born “out” of wedlock? A marriage involves sacrifice and compromise on BOTH  sides and he needs to consider your needs just like you are considering his. If he loves you well enough to ask you to have his baby then he should love you well enough to MARRY you.  He might want you to move in with him, but there IS a difference. If you are living in his house with him, then you might as WELL be married… I am sure that after 8 years you both should have a strong closeness to each other. From what it sounds like, you BOTH want kids and the both of you would love to live together. You have to let him know that after loving him for 8 years you “DESERVE” to be married. Also, the worst thing he can do is base YOUR circumstances on things his parents went through. If he has some psychological problems with the institution of marriage (believe it or not, this CAN happen), then invite him to go to “counseling. ” Counseling can probably get to the root of his fears and apprehensions and hopefully help him to overcome them.  Many couples go through it, before and even AFTER marriage. If you lived in his house with him long enough you would be considered “common law” married anyway. Now ONE thing you can do to help change his mind is go over baby names with him, but make sure that you give the baby YOUR last name instead of his. Once he hears that you won’t be using HIS name it should trigger “something” rattling around in his head that tells him, “You’d better get married to her, dummy.” Everyone is different and people do have different types of phobias. If his is the concept of getting married then counseling seems like the best way to go. If he loves you like he says he does, then he will attend sessions with you. Don’t sacrifice your morals until you get to know where his head is, because once you get pregnant then he already HAS what he wants. Also, don’t go and get pregnant beforehand thinking that once you do then he will want to marry you on his own. It will help you have better peace of mind if you know everything BEFORE the fact. Above all, don’t let your discussions get heated. It is obvious you both still love each other, and I believe this matter can be resolved with the right intervention. Good luck to you and have a jolly day. To close out this weekend, here is that “Oscar winning” rabbit, the Phantom Poet:

 

If we stay together long enough, I’m sure his baby I will have carried

The only problem is that for me, I’d like to be married

I’d like both of us to be there for the hard times, the love and the laughter

But most of all I’d like for us both to live together happily ever after

I think he has psychological problems from his parents and those problems seem to linger

But he is “really” going to have some problems if I don’t get to see a ring on my finger

His parents had marriage problems and for him it must have been tough

But for me, shacking up in his home just ain’t good enough

I was brought up old fashioned and my family and I don’t want the shame

I want to wear his shirts, his ring AND his last name

“You’d better reconsider my needs if you want me to have your baby”

“And if you are expecting to get lucky tonight, well all I can say is… maybe”

If you want me to enjoy the experience of sex then here is the “thing”

“EVERY” woman will have an orgasm when accompanied by a “RING!”

I will dress sexy each and every day and for you I will wear the best apparel

But if this is going to work then I need to own you… “lock, stock… and barrel”

 

“Yet ANOTHER masterpiece magnificently submitted by the Phantom Poet”

 

Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert (Brett to the upper right behind keyboard)

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Sunday)

Brett, I have been married for over 20 years but now my husband and I are getting a divorce. To make matters worse I have a very severe illness, which makes it important for me to not be by myself a lot. My husband and I are still friends, and he still comes to check up on me twice each week, but now he has another female in his life to care for. In fact, often when he is over my house he will call her on the phone and say sweet things to her in front of me. It is tough for me to hear him say those things to her. We plan to sell this house soon and I will go live someplace else with my daughter. My problem is that after 20 years of living with him I don’t know how to function living on my own. I am scared and depressed over my situation. Is there anyway you can help me?

 

 

 

 

There will always be some uncertainty when it comes to a new change in lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a positive thing for you. 20 years of marriage can have a great effect on anyone, but now is the time to find some new happiness in your life. You can use your illness as an excuse to be miserable or you can go enjoy a whole new beginning. First you need to come to the realization that your husband is NO LONGER going to be your husband, hence there really is no more need for him to come visit you. As long as you continue to see him, it may be helpful in some ways but psychologically and spiritually damaging in others. For you to enjoy a new life, you need to cut ties to the things that were making you unhappy, and if the sight of him is causing you stress, then you need to alleviate that stress by telling him to enjoy his new life with his new love and to “stop” coming by to see you. The next thing you need to do is alter something in your life. It could be something major or minor, but “some” change is needed. You can change your hairstyle, buy a new dress, lose weight or even change your radio station, but in order to move on you need to change “something.” Lastly, you need to start doing things to keep yourself busy. As long as you have nothing to do then you will continue to dwell and reflect on your past relationship and therefore get more depressed from it. Remember that no matter how much you look over your shoulder at your past that view “never changes.” As for your illness, it can impede you but it doesn’t have to STOP you. As long as you still draw breath then there is hope for you to make something of your life. You don’t need pity, sorrow or condolences… You only need to realize your OWN self value…You need to start looking forward to this new change in your life and let everybody know that you are not stepping down, but rather stepping “up.” Now go out and make the most of this very “first” day… of the “rest” of your life… In fact, while you are at it, you can also enjoy this lyrical verse from the “newly found” Phantom Poet:

 

 

 

 

When it comes to living on your own, just know that there is always hope

 

Even though you no longer have your husband, you can still find ways to cope

 

So stop viewing this as a loss, and start looking at this like you’re winning

 

Because for you this shouldn’t be perceived as the end, but rather a new beginning

 

Now is the time to do other things you might like, like vacationing or travel

 

Because if you just sit around focusing on your ex, then your life could unravel

 

To start a new life you want to be physically as well as mentally sound

 

So it might be best to tell your husband that you no longer want him around

 

You are still a great looking woman and yes, you are still very much in your prime

 

And there is no longer any need to have a 20 year ex around wasting your time

 

Because when relationships end you can keep reflecting until your head gets dizzy

 

But the truth of the matter is that you need to socialize, get out more and get busy

 

Your life isn’t over by any means, and you don’t need to sit there like a bump on a log

 

Now is the time to change something in your life, like get a new hairstyle or buy a dog

 

You don’t have to feel depressed; you can exercise, get a new hairstyle or lose weight

 

Do ANYTHING that will make you feel better, exuberant and GREAT

 

Even though you have an illness, you should never ever let that prevent

 

You from enjoying your life to the fullest, so just go out and represent

 

And that way the very next time your ex sees you, he’ll see just how great you appear

 

And as you walk away you can let him get a good look and your new firm shapely “rear”

 

And he will be amazed at how good you look, his eyes will bulge and his jaw will fall

 

And for letting you go, he will repeatedly beat his forehead… against the wall…

 

And as you walk away to a roomful of compliments, you’ll try your best to stop blushin’

 

As for your ex husband, he will still continue to bang his head, until he gets a concussion

 

 

 

 

“Hey, it looks as though HE is the sick one now”… The Phantom Poet

 

Brett Jolly in concert with the Stylistics (Brett in background with red bass guitar)

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